Careless whisper

Malcolm my love.

How I dream of the day I finally get to see you again.To touch what was once stripped away, ripped from my heart, like the cloths on my body, slowly flying away like tattered flags waving in the pointless breeze. My love is with you, once lost in time. I have ventured this land, searched end to end, walked this barren plane more than a million times, trying, begging, praying, that one day I will return to you again.

I have fought through thousands of wretched thoughts, defending against my own creation.Running from my past as in here, what once was, can still be the end of you, like a bullet to the chest.Your past, a deadly virus, trying, concealing what I fear would become reality. Trying to control what cant be controlled. My dear how I miss the times I was in your arms, miss the feeling of your long forgotten touch. Your hands gliding against my skin, your lips, the forgotten kiss. I've been here at least thirty months, or so it feels. I wish I could imagine you here with me, but only if it were that easy my love.

My hands are shaken now, my heart is empty, my blood runs cold through my veins, for the pain that I've inflicted on myself. I should have never left that day, what a fool I was. Blinded by pride and driven by anger, I hope you've forgiven me, for I never ment to hurt you. Maybe this place is a prison, built to keep me from hurting again. You know what I've done, and you understand that I cant go back, but this place it's not real, atleast I dont think it is. My careless whisper, never meet the ears of the one that my message was intended for. Don't worry my love I shall return, to face the world again and make amends with my past life. Although what I once was would be a shadow of who I am now.

This place, it changes you, it traps you, it bends you to the breaking point, and torments the living. Although I dont know if I am dead or alive at this point. I've been I this place for so long that my existence has become irrevalent. I dont know how much more of this I can take, as everyday my sole is drained and i feel my life being sucked away from me. Atleast I got the opportunity to say my final words to you. I don't know if your listening, I dont know if your there, but i have hope that my message reaches you. My eternal love.