The Caged Princess

Chapter 3

I was trapped between these four walls that were next to Keir's room and just across his study. The universe had a certain sense of humour that I definitely did not get. For such an expensive apartment, the walls were definitely thin or was it my imagination? I had been aware of every single sound that came from his bedroom.

Oh god. I have no idea how long I was going to be stuck here. Shit. This moment required copious amounts of alcohol.

I decided to take a quick shower and change into something more comfortable. I was exhausted with all the interactions of the day even though I had had like two conversations if you didn't count my time spent with Dusan. I wanted to see what Dusan was upto since arriving here, I had not seen him after he had left me at the door to deal with the mess that was my life.

I quickly checked the shower and realised it was stocked with all of my favourite products.

Oh?

Dusan remembered after all these years? That didn't seem like him but I shrugged it off thinking about how much I had missed him in the last few years. I scrubbed myself thinking about the chats and virtual video calls that had kept me going till Dusan dropped the bomb on me about Keir.

My heart squeezed thinking about how much I had missed Keir's arms around me. His comforting hugs, his dimpled smile, his tattoos across his body. I got a little hot thinking about the first time I had discovered he had a skull and rose tattooed across his back and how I had licked him till he had moaned and fucked me till we were both breathless.

The shrill ringing of my phone jerked me from my daydream and I felt so ashamed thinking about this right now.

What the hell is wrong with me? Stirring up old memories was only going to bring me pain, nothing else. I had to stop remembering a time that seemed liked a dream. I couldn't become a lost cause after all that I had to do to pull myself together the first time.

I quickly dried myself and rushed to pick up the call. There is only one person in this whole wide world who would call me right now without worrying about what kind of mood I was in.

Ilaria was the best thing that had happened to me after my break up with Keir. In such a short time she had become my family. She was the only one I even had anymore.

The thought of my parents, their smiling faces brought the black spots back. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, answering the call, "Ilariaaa.." My voice croaked and I felt weak, like I would collapse any moment.

"Tala? Are you okay? Are you having a panic attack? Take a deep breath, Tala. Count backwards with me - 100, 99, 98......" I counted with her, my heartbeat slowing down after hearing her soft, husky voice. My heart just needed something familiar to hang on to, to anchor myself.

Oh god. I don't want to lose anymore people.

She counted with me till I started to feel better, I let her know that by saying, "I'm okay Ilaria, I'm okay."

"Sweetie, I've told you like a hundred times to always call me whenever you feel like you are losing your grip on reality. I know today must have been hard for you. How was it? Seeing Keir after so long? Do you want me to come to you? I can be there tomorrow morning. I'll catch a morning flight and be there with you for breakfast."

I smiled thinking of my best friend and her rambling to help me feel better. God she was such an angel. "I'm okay Ilaria. Really. Keir is.... well, Keir. He's always been this intense. He's hurting and I'm hurting for him. Dusan is here too. I'll be okay. You don't have to drop everything right now. You know this project is extremely important for your promotion in the next few months. Please don't let me take that away from you."

She sighed on the other end, "Babe you know I love you. Just say the word and I'll be there."

"I know. And ditto."

We chat for a few minutes and she hangs up when her boss comes in calling with a new task for her. Lately I've been missing more and more people after losing them. I sigh trying to shake off some of this weird energy that I've been feeling for the last couple of hours. The thought of seeing Keir sends a shiver up my spine. I have no idea how long I'm going to go about pretending like he doesn't hate me.

It's either that or going back to a house where only memories reside now.