After a couple of weeks they let me out of the hospital but they told my mother she was to keep a close eye on me. She didn't take that too seriously because she shipped that responsibility onto my grandparents, when she sent me half way across the world to live with them.
When I woke up in the hospital I first saw white, I thought I was dead. Then my vision became clearer and I saw what was a dull hospital room. I thought my mother would be sitting no the chair next to me but instead there was an empty space. I reached up for the nurse button and moments later a guy looking around the age of 19 came rushing in. He was wearing a nurses uniform. He was tall and had scruffy hair.
He smiled "hang on let me go call a doctor" he had a thick Australian accent. I nodded and and suddenly I was alone again.
It didn't last long the nurse came back following him was a doctor. The doctor was just as tall as the nurse but he looked a lot older. "Hello, I'm Dr. Stuart and this is your nurse Ashton. I'm going to ask you a few questions is that okay?"
"Yeah, sure" I replied
"Can you tell me your name?"
"Ella Rienks."
"When's your birthday and how old will you be?"
"Next month, twentieth of august and I'll be seventeen"
"Do you know what happened to you?"
"I tried to kill myself" I lowered my head like I was embarrassed but I wasn't.
"Can you tell me why you tried to kill myself?"
"You wouldn't understand and I can't explain it"
"Okay, perhaps you would be more comfortable talking to someone more, your age. Ashton, your nurse is eighteen. I'll leave you two to talk" he gave us both a smile and walked out.
Ashton came over and sat on the chair next to my bed. "He's a bit of an ass." I laughed lightly.
It was silent for a minute. "When can I go home?"
"When your doctor thinks your okay I guess"
"I'm okay now. You can go tell him I was just having a bad time and that I'm perfectly fine" I smiled. Obviously it wasn't real and obviously he knew everything I said was bullshit.
"Okay, but I know your not" Ashton rested his hand on my shoulder and left.
He didn't tell my doctor I was fine because I was moved to the pysiciatric ward. I was there for about 3 weeks.
My mother visited me once or twice. She never stayed longer than an hour though. Plus she never had much to say.
Ashton was still my nurse. He told me he was a trainee nurse that's why he was so young. He said he moved to Maine from west Sydney and it was a great decision for him. He also told me about his family back home. He would always say how crazy his brother and sister were but he loved them to death. And he told me how his mother was the most amazing woman ever. I admired how happy he was.
When I was released and sent to live with my grandparents it was sort of ironic that they happened to live in west Sydney as well.
On the day I left Ashton hugged me goodbye and gave me his phone number so I could talk to him if I ever needed.
I never knew if Ashton understood or not but he accepted it and didn't judge me, which is all I've ever asked for.
YOU ARE READING
The Ugly Truth // MGC
FanfictionGo to the beach. And walk in the water, blindfolded. You just keep walking, you don't know were your going. You just know your going deeper. That's what the build up to cutting feels like. You don't know where your going. Depression has blinded you...