A Goddamned Omega Bitch

A Fresh Start

I knew what I had to do. I didn't fucking like it, but I had to shove my pride down and start letting people in. It wasn't me against the world. I knew that. I'd known that for a while, but I didn't really know how to express emotions other than anger. Still, I owed it to my classmates, especially Deku and the small group I actually called friends, to try and be a better person. And the first step to that was an apology. To Deku first. Gotta catch him before school. Good thing I was always the first up. I walked softly, careful not to awaken anyone as I walked through the halls to Demi's dorm room, knocking sharply at the door.

It opened, revealing a groggy Deku rubbing one eye with his good hand. "Hnn? Kacc-"

I didn't let him finish, shoving past him and closing the door behind me. "Shut up and let me talk, dumbass. I've been...thinking about what you told me Saturday. I don't know if...if I return your feelings or not. I really fuckin' don't. But I do know...you don't deserve how I've been treating you." Once I opened my mouth, the words just spilled out, my thoughts barely able to keep up. I felt my face burning, mortified to realize that I was blushing as I stared at the floor between us, utterly unable to look at him, at his face. At the big green eyes I knew were probably filling with tears. "So...so I decided...I needed to apologize. And that's what I came to do. To tell you...to tell you I'm sorry for the shit I've said. That...I'm sorry for all the times I've hurt you. I'm still...trying to figure out WHY I did all that. Fuck. I know there's no excuse, but I...I don't even know if I had a reason. I certainly had no RIGHT to tell you to jump off the roof in middle school. I dunno how much it'll help, if at all, but...I didn't really mean it.... Shit. Shit, I...I don't know what else to say. I just...I'm really fucking sorry and I'm gonna...I'm gonna change, okay? That's what I've decided. Shitty Hair's right. I haven't been acting like a Hero. I haven't even been a good person...." Because I wasn't looking at him, I was shocked to suddenly find his arms wrapped tight around my waist as he sobbed into my chest. I didn't know what to do, awkwardly patting his back and resting one hand on the top of his head. His hair was really soft....

"Th-thaaaaank you, Kacchaaaan!!! Th-that's...that's all I've wanted to hear f-for so looooong!" He wailed, sniffling and squeezing me tighter.

"Tch.... K-keep it down, nerd. Somebody's gonna hear you." I mutter, though I found my own arms wrapping around his shoulders, returning the hug without really thinking about it. Nor did I feel bothered to let go once I realized. "And don't tell anybody. I'm not doing this shit all at once."

"Y-yeah, yeah, I know." He sniffled, trying to keep quiet, and, though I couldn't see his face, I could hear the smile in his whiny-ass fuckin' voice. "You're a very private person, Kacchan. I'll respect that. So, uh...does that...make us friends again?"

I had to think that one over. Were we friends? "Heh. Yeah, I guess it does. If you forgive me, anyways." I muttered, finding my own lips curving up slightly in an unfamiliar smile.

"Of course I forgive you! I forgave you a long time ago, Kacchan!" He exclaimed as he finally let go of me and stepped back, prompting me to hurriedly drop my smile.

I felt cold, my stomach squirming unpleasantly as my childhood friend was no longer in contact with me, already missing the feeling of his body against mine. No! Wait, I can't want to touch Deku! That's dumb! "Keep it down! Shit, you're too damned loud!" I hiss through gritted teeth. "I said what I came to say, so I'm gonna go. ...see you in class, I guess." And with that, I turned and left his room, more conflicting emotions in my heart, but I was...oddly free. I had a fresh start.