i still fall for you everyday

Broke Up & Talking Back Again

I couldn't remember what was the date we broke up but now up till this day. it has been 4 months since our broke up. I wouldnt want to state on why we broke up but yes the aftermath of the broke up was horrid for me as I went on to restart smoking. I felt that no one was ever going to be here for me when I need them the most. I was lonely and by smoking, I am able to release all my sadness and heartbreaks. I did not have the courage to even talk to other girls, yet. But after a few months later I talked to numerous girls. Yeah call me a flirt or some sort of that cause i dont care at all but of all the girls I talk to, none of them compares to Atiqah. Yes NO ONE. On 20th February 2015, I finally felt like letting out all my doubts and feelings that I have been keeping for 4 months. I send her this "Hey im sorry if im kind of disturbing ur sleep or ur conversations with Hady but hold up a minute cause I really wanna clear all the thoughts in my mind & heart. Honestly, i still fkin miss you so much and deep down I really want to be with u back so badly. Ya i know, now i talk to so many girls but trust me, no one ever beats you. No one has ever cared nor loved me so much like you do. No one has ever been there for me eversince we broke up. Nur Atiqah, i still need you in my life. As im typing this text i am really tearing up cause if i had a chance to turn things around, i would choose not to break up with you. I really love you and in the past I used to say i love u and I really mean it deep down in my heart and i still dare to say up till now I do. I'll be waiting for u, patiently........ I love you so much Nur Atiqah bte Rohazaid, so much it hurts" and right after I send that, i slept. The next morning I woke up, i was shocked that she replied. She said "its okay, you are not bothering me at all :') eventhough im dating with Hady, i got to be honest with you that no one can replace you. you are different from the guys that i met. yes, i got to be lying if i say i didnt miss you, us. i miss everything that we had, I've been thinking alot but i cant twist back time and fyi i been fighting with Hady because i been thinking of you. it is silly for me to do this but i have to, i think it is the best for me to be honest with you. ever since, we broke up, i changed alot.. every guys i used to chat cant seem to be like you, but then i found Hady, thought he is the one for me actually i was wrong. sigh i just dont know what to do now, still deep down in my heart, it will always be you." I didnt know what to feel..... but we kept on talking and talking.