Lines of Code (To the moon)

3

Do I have a problem?? 

Neil fidgeted with his hands while filling out paperwork.

 No. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm great-- I'm great.

The nightmares that he couldnt control, the ones where he would watch as Eva walked away and left him without a care. The ones where he'd scream but no sound came out. The ones he was left...alone.

He bit down on his lip. Why did that word bother him so much? He liked being alone. He was a loner, an introvert. Maybe it was something based on the context... like how it had left before the alone.He began picking at the skin around his nails. A nasty habit he had picked up years ago. 

"How many times have I told you to not do that?" Eva sat down nearby him."Sorry," guiltily, he put his hands into his pockets and continued staring at the blank screen. 

Why am I avoiding this case.

Why do I do these things.

Why do I push people away-

I like to be alone.

"I was just wondering if you'd like to see a movie. Yknow, like old times."

 For some reason the old times echoed in his head and felt like a punch in the gut. Had things changed between them since then? Are they not friends anymore? Are they just work partners?

"Sorry, busy," he continued to build up his hundred story wall. 

"How lame, this guys going to spend his life's wish on popularity," Neil scoffed.

 "Hey, it's what he wants I guess."

"Yeah."

Friend after friend left him one by one, and suddenly Neil couldn't help but notice how cold and empty his apartment was.

It's almost like mine

He pushed away the thought. 

I like to be alone.

Eva started to walk out."Hey Eves?"

She turned and smiled, "yeah?" 

He originally planned to say, 'I'll text you if I'm free' or anything that could signify that there was a chance that he'd just push through the boundary, but all that came out was: "Make sure to close my door." 

Eva sadly nodded and shut his door, leaving him alone in his office.

The quick tapping of the keyboard comforted Neil as he did some coding for inside the machine. Normally he'd turn on some music, but he had a pounding headache and thought his noice-cancelling headphones would only make it worse. He took a sip of ice cold water from a disposable plastic bottle and downed a pill. 

That night, he sat alone in his apartment. He could've been out with Eva, but he instead was playing some video game that he hadn't played in months. He also had music blasting from his playlist, it was an odd mixture of 2000's, Japanese music, and acoustic music. The music was suddenly interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He had seen this tip one time about setting your ringtone as a song you like so that way you could jam out to the song and ignore the person. He debated changing it, but eventually decided against it.

He picked up his phone and looked at the caller ID. 

Eves

He stared at his phone for a minute, it could be an emergency, but it also could be a call telling him to get up off his sorry ass and just hang out with her. He didn't know which he preferred. After a moment longer of contemplation, he picked up the phone.

"Heyy Eevee," the pitch of his voice raised slightly, it made him sound more cheery.

"I'm on your floor."

"What?" He hopped up off the couch and clenched his teeth out of pain. He hung up on Eva and stuffed his phone into the pocket of his light grey sweatpants.

"You couldn't have talked to me over the phone??" Neil defensively said as he opened the door to his messy apartment.

"Over the phone you can do whatever weird gestures you do and it's really annoying to guess based on your tone." She crossed her arms. She had on a short sleeved t-shirt in jeans.

"You do know it's freezing outside, right?"

"I didn't until now-- but that's not the point. Why are you ditching me to play video games? We haven't hung out in forever and we both have time for once-"

"I just want some alone time," he stuck his hands into his pockets.

"Neil."

The way she said his name was almost like a stab in the back. He looked away from her, not making eye contact.

"You know that I never pry, you get away with all kinds of stuff because I just let you do you. Please, just this once, I'm asking you to say something real," she got closer to him and turned his face toward her. He backed away as his face turned red.

"You know me... I'm a loner."

Eva sighed and stared down at the floor, "fine, if you don't want to hang out anymore- if you don't want to be friends anymore- that's your choice." She turned and gripped the handle to his door, trying to will herself to open it. 

"Eves, wait," He rested his hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry, I'm being an ass. Do you want to play video games with me?"

Eva turned around and sadly smiled, "Well, I'm already here aren't I."

Neil breathed a sigh of relief as she walked into his living room and sat down on the couch.

"So, what are we playing?"