CHAPTER ONE:
Memories of JapanIn which buried memories escape the drunkest corners of the brain.
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Matt rushed back to their shared apartment, taking the cans of soda, and the bag of chips he had just picked up from seven eleven. He cracked the lid of the soda, slurping up the froth that seemed to erupt from within, setting the other can in the fridge for Ryan when he came back from work. Matt thought it nice to have the apartment all to himself for once. He decided he would enjoy his time alone.
it's not like he didn't want to hang out with Ryan... He was Matt's closest friend after all, they practically did everything together. But... As of late, there seemed to be this weird feeling inside the pit of his stomach. It wasn't always, it just seemed to happen when Ryan was around... which was a lot, Matt felt as though he was going to burst. He needed a break, and this was the opportunity he had been waiting for.
Matt plopped down on his bed, folding his arms behind his head. He let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding as he reclined into the soft material of his bed spread. Matt closed his eyes, breathing in deeply.
I wonder what Ryan is doing?
Matt thought to himself, that strange feeling grew in his stomach as he thought. It was as if hundreds of butterflies were brushing their wings together. Matt's cheeks felt hot as he thought of him.
What is this?
Matt sat up, pulling his long slender legs to his chest. He looked down at his shaking hands. His mousey colored brows drew together in confusion.
Is there something wrong with me?
Matt's hands fluttered to his temples as if willing the thought of Ryan to leave his head. He raked his fingers through his soft hair as he felt his ever quickening heartbeat.
I need a distraction!
Matt's determined inner voice seemed to displace any doubt that this whole "feelings" thing would be an issue. He slipped his hand into his pocket, picking up his phone gingerly, unlocking it with ease...
His eyes suddenly widened, dropping his phone not two seconds after picking it up.
"Sh-shit"
His voice shook as it rang out softly through the still empty apartment. Matt's cheeks were flushed a pale pink. As he regained composure, he cautiously picked up his phone from off the floor, turning over the illuminated screen slowly, his cheeks heating up slightly once more.
"Ryan..." He breathed.
A melancholy expression creeping onto his slender face, his delicate features twisting into a silent pain. The pain of love that's just out of reach. He looked at his phone, remembering the time they had together when they went to japan. How was it possible that Ryan could look so good in every picture?
Matt sighed, scrolling through the pictures they had taken together. Ryan always seemed to wear an expression that Matt grew to love... an expression that seemed to display an aloof confidence yet, his casual illustriousness seemed to draw Matt into Ryan's tawny gaze. He couldn't tear his eyes away. He missed Japan, he missed being drunk with Ryan and just being himself with him. It all just felt so natural, the haze of alcohol and their drunken touch.
Matt turned off his phone, tossing it lazily onto the bed next to him as he lay back, closing his eyes again. But this time, he allowed his thoughts to flow through his mind. He remembered the night before their flight back to America...
Matt and Ryan had just gotten stupidly drunk after going out for sushi. They walked around the city a bit before Ryan waved down a taxi. Both boys clambered clumsily into the vehicle, making themselves comfortable in the black leather seats. Matt gave the driver the address to their hotel. As they began to make their drive across town, Matt remembered feeling Ryan's hand make its way to his thigh. His cheeks heated up as he looked over to Ryan, trying to grasp what was fully going on. Ryan seemed not to notice his silent plea for clarity, he seemed to not even realize his own hand was rubbing Matt's thigh.
"R-Ryan..."
That small cry was all that could escape his lips as he felt the hand move to his inner thigh, rubbing softly in slow, gentle circles. This seemed to catch Ryan's attention... for he had never heard Matt make a sound like that before. Ryan's dark umber eyes met with Matt's light cerulean ones. They seemed to hold their gaze for what felt like an eternity, but, was actually a matter of seconds before Ryan broke their eye contact to realize where his hand had traveled. He pulled it back quickly from Matt's leg, as a look of sheepishness spread across his dark features.
In their drunken haze, their hands had intertwined with one another mindlessly. Even though this action had been taken brief notice by each of them, they seemed not to mind. Arriving in front of their hotel building, still hand in hand, they entered the elevator. As the automatic doors closed behind them, they found themselves all alone in the small space.
Within moments, both of their bodies were closing the gap between one another, their faces only centimeters apart. Matt could smell the strong scent of alcohol from Ryan, it was intoxicating, and he couldn't get enough...
Soon, Ryan's lips were on his. He could remember the feeling of the scruff of Ryan's beard against his cheeks. Ryan's strong hands began to explore the slender boy's body. He moved from Matt's pale neck, to the curves of his waste, stopping at his small hips. Ryan pulled the boy closer, so that Matt was pressed into him, feeling every part of Matt's body against his own...
Then everything seemed to go black after that...
Matts' lids fluttered open, revealing his startled blue eyes.
Why had he not remembered that before? What else had he forgotten?
I wonder if Ryan remembers...? Matt thought to himself.He could feel his heart pounding out of his chest, the sound was deafening. It seemed to rattle his rib cage with the sheer force of each beat. He moved his clammy hands to his burning cheeks, heating up even more as he felt his obvious erection against his jeans.
"God fucking damnit"
Matt whispered under his breath harshly as he mentally face-palmed out of embarrassment.
His hand traveled down his lengthy figure, Matt could feel his body trembling. He palmed himself through his pants, biting his lip, trying to hold back the noise escaping his mouth. Matt's hand moved to his inner thigh, trying to remember the feeling of Ryan's hand against him. Matt shut his eyes, trying to bring himself to the back of that taxi once again. He moved his hand, rubbing gently just as Ryan had. He let out a small forlorn sigh as memories of Ryan played out in his head...
Before Matt had even realized what was going on, his hand had shifted to his clothed erection, still rubbing in the same manner as before. His fingers moved to his fly, undoing the small zipper slowly as if holding himself back.
Matt stopped short, the anxiety that hung at the back of his mind suddenly erupted into a frenzy of confusing emotions. But one particular thought seemed to resonate, making all others quiet down...
I was about to touch myself to the thought of my best friend...
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A/n
Please let me know if you like it, and I should write more...
Thanks~ ❤️
- Rainy
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