this should not have happened

Chapter 8 - making the decision

Emma's point of view

Its been three days since me and Regina confessed how we both feel and know I need to make the decision do I stay with Killian and be happy or do I go with Regina wear I can feel both happy and loved, well yes I feel loved by Killian but the feelings I get from Regina are just wow.

But all I can think about is if who ever I decided I will hurt the other and I know that Regina 'that I wont hurt her with my decision' but it still worries me as I care about her but I also care about Killian as well as we plan of having kids in the future and with Regina well we havent had that talk yet hopeful one day if I choose her.

Emma flops in her desk in the her office and sigh "why must this be so hard I just need to make a decision" as soon as she says that as hears a voice coming from outside her office and remembers she isn't allow and that her dad and chosen to come into work today to give snow some mother son time.

Emma walks out of her office and sighs again "oh sorry dad I thought you had gone out already on portal". He stands up and walks over to Emma and places a hand on her arm and responds with a worried tone and look on his face "yeah just about to pop out now, also is everything ok you seem a little distracted today".

Emma puts on a fake smiles and looks down "yeah dad I'm fine just cant decide on what to have for lunch today". Emma pauses and continues but in a quiet tone so that her dad doesn't hear "oh and i am also thinking of who i love more Killian or Regina and thinking of who I should choose".

David lets go of Emma's arm then walks towards the door but before he leaves he turns around and says "well what ever you decide it will make sure it the decision that makes you happy because right now you don't seem it".

Emma is shocked by her dads words even though she knows he was talking about what she was going to chose for lunch she also took it as if he was talking about her decision about her chose between who she loves more.

Its the end of Emma shift at the station and she is getting ready to leave when suddenly she feeling someone grab her by her waist without thinking or looking to see who it is first she says "Regina your not making this decision any easier for me".

As soon as she finishes her sentence she feels the grip around her waist loosen and she spins around to find a confused Kilian who questions her "Emma why do you mean when you said 'Regina your not making this any easier, what isn't she making easy".

Emma mentally kicking herself and tries to come up with a quick answer and decides it best to change the subject responds "oh Killian I didn't know you were coming by the office today". Killian looking confused and slight angry says "Emma don't change the subjects and tell me why you just said Regina, also you knew I was coming as I'm taking you out for dinner".

Emma sighs and walks over to the bench by the window and sits down patting the spot next to her indicating for Killian to sit next to her but he walks over to her and says with slight more of an angry tone in his voice "no Emma I'm not sitting down now tell me why you said Regina's now or we are not leaving this office".

Emma places her head in her hands and starts to cry "I - I cant tell you, I don't want to hurt you". Killian bends down in front of Emma and places both his hands on hers and in a low tone says "Emma what ever you need to tell me just say it because your starting to worry me".

Emma looks up at Killian who now has a concerned look on his face which makes Emma feel much more horrible then she already did "Killian I need to tell you something but you need to promise to me you wont get mad even if want I'm about to tell you will be hard for you to both understand and hear".

Killian now more concerned then ever stands up and sigh "I love you and will never be mad at you". Emma stands up and walks over to Killian and takes his hands in her and looks down so she isn't making eye contact as she doesn't want to see his reaction and starts "ok Killian i want to start off with saying I never wanted any of this to happen and I didn't mean for this to go this far but I cant take it anymore it is breaking me apart and it is killing me ...".