In Reality (My Diary)

Female 5SOS?

The song above is my current favorite song "It's over when it's over" by Falling in Reverse. I couldn't find the studio version, so I had to put this instead.

I don't really have anything to talk about, but I thought that this could use an entry that isn't me complaining about how much life sucks.
I've decided exactly what I want to do in the future. I want to start a band - something like a female 5 Seconds of Summer. It seems like getting a band together won't really be that difficult. I sing and play a little guitar (just enough to get by- I suck) and my friend sings and plays the bass. I've thought about it for a long time and being a musician has been my dream since I was five years old. I had actually given up music at one point until I discovered 5SOS. They are the reason I picked up the guitar, started taking music seriously, and - of course - now want to be in a band. They introduced me to punk music which I am forever grateful for.
Punk music has helped me find out things about myself and has made me a lot happier. It has brought to my attention the importance of individually and taught me that it's okay to sick out in the crowd- which I actually prefer to.
I know I'm making it sound like I'm some confident punk, but truth be told it's not what I am, but what I want to be. If you haven't picked it up by now, I am very quiet- in school anyway. I don't know why, but I love the fact that I'm a different person outside of school - you know- not what I appear to be. I'm that girl that seems to make perfect grades, never get into trouble, and just be straight up lame. When in reality my grades are falling (oops), I recently got detention for "disrespecting a teacher" (which was really stupid; the teacher is just really butthurt), and am obsessed with punk music. The funny thing is that a couple of my teachers recently pulled me aside; they said that they were worried about me, and thought that I might be having problems at home because I've "changed". To be clear I am not having problems at home, my parents are being a pain in the ass like parents are supposed to be. The things that they are noticing is me trying to break this shy girl image.
I have always hated how socially awkward I am. For the longest time I would always say that I was "just shy". Although I have learned that hiding behind the shy girl image doesn't help you get over it. You have to face your fears to get over them and hiding from them does not help at all. Now I prefer "socially awkward" because I'm not really "shy" anymore. Thankfully I am starting to slowly break out of my shell. It is actually kind of funny and sad how long it has taken me to get this far, but I wouldn't change a thing.