Lifeline (Sebastian Vettel)

Chapter 39: Filling the Void

Author's note: This chapter runs alongside @__highflying's chapter 17.

"Why are you really here Jake?"

"Because you're the first person I seem to be able to really talk to since... and... ugh..." he trailed off and sighed, rubbing his face. He hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately. "How are your memories now anyway? Have you made much progress" he finished quietly, diverting the conversation back to her.

"Shit and no." she shrugged, still gazing across at him. His dark hair was splattered across his forehead like someone had sculpted him that way. It begged to be touched. Though now, Tully was starting to suspect he was trying to avoid even looking at her.

His pale skin creased as he frowned, "And you still can't you face Seb?"

Tully squirmed uncomfortably, distracting herself by skimming her eyes across the profile of his nose and lips against the fading light of dusk, "I don't want to talk about him, please don't make me..."

"Okay, I won't make you." he replied softly, glancing across at her for the briefest moment before hurriedly looking away again, "How are you sleeping?"

"Well I don't need to be medicated anymore to sleep so that's something right?"

"Good." Jacob sighed tiredly.

"What about you?" she asked, concern etched in her features as she boldly reached over and ran her fingers through his fringe slowly. He closed his eyes at her touch and she took it as a signal to continue.

"This week has been a struggle. I keep dreaming about it..." he mumbled.

"How many people died?"

"174 confirmed so far. 32 still missing."

Tully swallowed, those numbers were high.

"I missed talking to you after you stopped messaging me." she muttered sadly.

"Sorry." he whispered, "You have to understand... I feel guilt. I was nothing to you. I have no place talking to you."

"Because you think Sebastian won't like it." she sighed, retracting her hand and tucking it back under her chin.

"That's putting it very lightly, yeah."

"I haven't even heard from him since the first time he came to my room at the hospital in Indonesia. He's gone..."

"There's no way in hell he's gone Tuls. Waiting... maybe. Giving you space... maybe. Not gone though. And I really shouldn't be here without his permission, which he'd never give."

"Why not?" Tully pouted. She was starting to wish Jacob's guilty concious would curl up and die.

"Because if Seb saw me here with you, and if I didn't instantly lose my job then the next time I was in the pit lane at the same time as him, he would run me over at 300kmph."

"Isn't there a speed limiter for that?" Tully raised a teasing eyebrow.

"Well, its primary purpose is not to slow down jilted drivers from killing their crew but yes, it is there, but still no, because he can manually override it."

"Okay you've thought about this way too much." Tully snorted.

"I just didn't go through the hell of that plane crash only to be murdered days later." he retorted. Finally, a small smile played across his lips.

"Why won't you look at me?" she pushed on determinedly.

"Do you always ask such direct questions?" he laughed.