Lifeline (Sebastian Vettel)

Chapter 49: A New Face

Author's note: I'm back! The problem this week was that I got so excited about the chapter AFTER this one, that I spent all week writing that, and putting off writing this one. Stupid eh. Anyway, a couple of minor time jumps in this one and a little bit of set up. A lotta-bit of skipping details to hopefully not make the whole thing too dreadfully tedious lol. I'm just eager to get to the fun bits so fuck it.

Tully leaned against the wall behind her and sank to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest as she stared at the floor - utterly clueless of what to say to him.

He'd just served her, badly. 'Sorry' seemed almost insulting to offer at this point.

But she also couldn't help it. She couldn't help how she'd felt or what happened to her. This talk from Seb had been a logistical inevitability if anything was to ever change her behaviour. Before now, she hadn't been capable of seeing things any other way than her own.

"I don't want you to feel like you're on a waiting list." she finally said. Her tone was rather monotonous, almost defeated, "I'm not a restaurant or a dentist's office."

She looked up, offering Seb a tight smile, which he solemnly returned.

"I'm just a person, who... doesn't know you. And feels a lot of pressure TO know you. And half the time, you're right. I'm in another place. But, on the hand hand, when I am far away like that, in my mind, I'm usually there with you."

Seb's gaze intensified, "You're remembering things?"

"I don't really know." Tully shrugged, "Maybe. Maybe I make them up because I feel like that's what everyone wants me to do. To remember you. And to ease that pressure, maybe I fool myself into thinking I can remember things."

"Tell me something you remember." he asked quietly. Tully could tell her was hanging off her every syllable.

She sighed, not really wanting to go into this territory with him. It'd only give him hope, and the pressure would build even worse than before. He'd want more, expect more, hope for more. But she owed him some honesty, even if only a little bit.

"Uh, well, there was one where, we are swimming, in an indoor pool."

Seb's eyes narrowed as he thought. He could only recall being in a pool with Tully a small handful of times. A couple of times before they were together, and another time... well, was the first time they had got very together.

"What, uh, happens, in the pool?" he asked, somewhat awkwardly.

"I'm sitting on the edge, timing your laps. And then you pull me in. I'm shouting at you, but we're laughing too."

"Ah." Seb nodded, slightly relieved that he wouldn't have to explain the other time they were in a pool together. Not sure she's ready for that one just yet.

"That was around the time my ex-girlfriend and I broke up, and you... well, you played an important supporting role during that time let's say."

"I was a rebound?" Tully arched an eyebrow.

"No." Seb chuckled, "It had been over for a long time. Just not, officially."

Tully nodded thoughtfully, "So it's a real memory."

"It's real." he affirmed.

Tully decided, at that point in time, it was best not to mention the more intimate memories she'd seen.

"I can't make any promises that I'll ever... be the old me again." she said after a few moments, "But I can promise to try to do better. To handle this all better."