One Dare, One Night Mistake

Chapter 3: The Anger

"What do you think you did?" I asked them seriously. Ang saya sa mukha nila ay unti-unting napalitan ng pagkalito. "Para n'yo na akong ibinebenta, Dad! Hindi ko akalain na kaya n'yong gawin iyan sa akin. Pero tama nga ang sinabi ni kuya before, mas matimbang ang pera kaysa sa aming mga anak n'yo!" I exclaimed. I wanted to cry, but I’m trying not to be.

"Kismet, we just wanted to secure your future." I saw how Mom caressed my Dad's back—trying to make him calm down. "Me and your Mom were getting older, and we couldn't assure the future of our company because we could no longer handle it on our own. Soon, we needed someone to replace us, and we could only think of Greven, but . . . " he suddenly stopped, and I already knew why.

I could feel and see the disappointment in his face upon saying my Brother's name, and so, I deeply sighed.

"Because he's gay, right, Dad? Hindi mo matanggap na bakla siya, kasi iniisip mo na magbibigay siya ng kahihiyan sa pamilya natin? Gano'n ang iniisip mo, right? Dad . . . wala naman sa gender iyan. Jobs are gender-neutral, and I also don't think he will give embarrassment to our family's name either just because of his gender preference. He never did that even when we were still kids, and I don't think he's capable of doing that. If you think it is a shame to be a gay, let me tell you that in these times, these gays that you are discriminating, and said that they were a plague on society . . . we couldn't deny the fact that they are the ones who have contributed more and given a lot of good to society. Mas may ambag pa sila kaysa sa mga lalaki o babaeng pilit silang tinatapakan! Kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit gano'n n'yo sila tratuhin. Kung sino pa kasi iyong walang ambag, sila pa itong may kapal ng mukha na kutyahin sila at tapak-tapakan!"

My Dad clenched his fists after hearing all that I said. "Stop this nonsense conversation. Magpapakasal ka at huwag mo nang babanggitin kahit kailan ang pangalan ng hayop na baklang iyon!" mariin niyang sabi na ikinatawa ko nang sarkastiko, that even Mom tried to stop me because if I continued it, maybe something bad would happen between me and my Dad.

But as if I still care about it. Ngayon lang ako nabigyan ng pagkakataon na masabi ang matagal ko nang tinatago na sama ng loob sa kanila. Hindi iyon nagawa ni kuya when he was the one at my point, kaya hindi ko hahayaan na gano'n ulit ang mangyari. After all, I didn't become a bitch for nothing.

"Dad . . . How could you say that to him? He is still your son no matter what happens or whatever his gender is. He's from you, and he's not an animal. Gays are not animals!" mariin at pasigaw kong sabi dahilan upang mapatayo si Dad mula sa kaniyang upuan — handa na upang sugurin ako, at gawin ang kahit anong gusto niya. Pero hindi ako natatakot. Why would I? I'm just returning them the favor.

I grinned and slightly laughed at his reaction. I could see the irritation and displeasure surfacing on his facial expression. I think I just hit the right nerves.

"Xpencer, just calm down yourself. And you, Kismet, don't talk to your Dad like that!" Mom interjected our conversation. 

I could feel the sudden change of atmosphere, and the tension between us began to rise, but I just sarcastically laughed at what Mom said.

"Mom . . . hindi ako magpapakasal sa kahit na sino! Gumaganti ba siya sa akin dahil hindi ko sinunod ang gusto niyang kurso para sa akin? Throughout my life, I followed everything you wanted kahit ayaw ko at hindi ko na kaya. Apat na taon na ang nakalilipas. I graduated already, and even took the board examination because I wanted to secure my future, as you wanted. I graduated Cumlaude, and I'm sure that I'll pass the examination as well. Kaya kung ang dahilan ng pagpapakasal n'yo sa akin ay dahil gusto n'yong i-secure ang future ko, itigil n'yo na ang kahibangan na iyan dahil papasa ako at yayaman ako sa paraan na alam ko!" I said confidently at them because I knew, and I could feel it.

I just had to wait two months before I'll be able to leave this house permanently and live on my own; far from them — far from my usual life wherein all what they wanted should be the one to be followed. And I couldn't wait for that to happen. 

"Iyon ang rason kung bakit ako nag-aral ng Civil Engineering at nag-take ng board examination. So don't worry about my future because I know, and I'm readying myself for what might happen in the future. I'm aware of that, Dad. Kaya huwag n'yo naman sana akong pangunahan. Buhay ko ito, at nasa wastong edad na ako to make decisions in my own life! Isa na riyan ang pagpili ng lalaking pakakasalan ko!" sabi ko at ilang sandali lang ay ramdam ko na ang mainit na likidong dumaloy pababa sa mga pisngi ko, pero agad ko rin itong pinunasan.

I need to show them that I'm strong enough because if I didn't they would only have the courage to do what they wanted. Pero taksil itong mga mata ko. Ayaw magpa-awat. Kahit anong pilit kong pigilan ang mga luha ko'y gusto talaga akong ilaglag. But I also realized that it's really true that no matter how hard you try to hide how you really feel using your strong posture, bitchy voice, and aura you won't fool your eyes. Your eyes couldn’t lie, and I started to hate it.

"Kismet . . . Huwag ka naman sanang gumaya sa kuya mong pasaway. Iyon lamang ang naiisip naming paraan—ang ipakasal ka para sa kinabukasan mo. Hindi mo naman kailangang magtrabaho. Let your husband do that to you. Kaya sundin mo na lang kami ng Dad mo. Alam namin ang ginagawa namin. Trust us, okay?" Mom said with her very sweet and calm voice, obviously because she was trying to take my heart. But it's too old style. Ano'ng akala niya sa akin, tanga?

I once rolled my eyes again because of her ka-artehan. "Huwag na tayong maglokohan at mag-plastikan pa rito, Mom. Hindi na ako katulad ng dati na madali n'yo lang mapaikot-ikot gamit ang mga sweet words n'yo kuno pero punong-puno pala ng kasinungalingan. Pero nakakatawa lang, 'no? Hanggang ngayon gano'n pa rin pala ang akala n'yo sa akin," I sarcastically laughed before I took a deep breath and continued speaking.

"Alam ko naman na ginagawa n'yo ito para mas lumawak pa ang koneksyon at ari-arian n'yo. At hindi n'yo ako magagamit sa mga kalokohan n'yo kahit saktan n'yo pa ako, gaya ng ginawa n'yo kay kuya. Ikulong sa loob ng kuwarto, huwag pakainin, i-close ang mga ATM card ko para wala akong magamit na pera, at kunin ang lahat ng gadgets ko!" matapang kong sabi at saka tumayo—handa nang lisanin ang walang kuwentang pag-uusap na ito.

But before I could finally make a step away, I looked at Dad while grinning, trying to annoy him because I loved how angry he was. As I said, I'm not a bitch just for nothing. It's my forte.

Napahalimos ng mukha si Mom gamit ang dalawa niyang kamay dahil sa inasal ko. "Kailan ka pa natutong sumagot ng ganiyan sa amin, Kismet?" galit na tanong niya, which made me smile broadly.

"Actually, ngayon lang. Isn't it amazing, Mom? Finally nagawa ko rin ang matagal ko nang gustong gawin. It's actually one of my dreams, and I'm so happy that—"

I couldn't continue what I was going to say when something hard suddenly hit my right cheek, causing me to fall and almost sink to the floor. I'm also wearing a fit silver-cocktail dress and five inches high heels so I wasn't able to balance my body, and my feet began to hurt because of what happened.

Hinawakan ko ang pisngi ko kung saan tumama ang malakas na sampal na iyon mula kay Dad, at hindi ko na napigilang maging emosyonal hindi dahil sa nagawa niya akong saktan ng gano'n dahil inaasahan ko na ito, kun'di dahil sa sakit ng pisngi at mga paa ko. Sigurado akong namamaga ang pisngi ko ngayon dahil sa lakas ng sampal na iyon. Also, it’s my first time.

Out of anger, I removed my heels and then forced myself to stand to face my Dad bravely. "And you finally hurt me, Dad. Congratulations to your new achievement. Magpa-party din ba ako just like the usual thing you are doing when you get or do something that could benefit you? That's your most favourite word, isn't it?" may sama ng loob na sabi ko bago tumakbo paalis sa kanila, at umakyat ng hagdan patungo sa room ko — kung saan ang tanging nagawa ko lang ay ang magwala at umiyak.