Dᴜᴀʟɪᴛʏ - I.M ᴄʜᴀɴɢ ᴋʏᴜɴ ᴍᴏɴsᴛᴀ x

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'Dont call me baby...call me my name-'

'What if I hold on just for a while...baby there's no drug quite like denial'

'Don't Leave me loving you, whatever you do, don't leave me loving you'

I tossed and turned as I laid in my bed, the sound of music blasting down stairs.
My eyes still glued shut as the dream I was having played over and over again, the memory...

The memory of when I last saw Kyun, the way he kissed me selfishly in the parking lot while the world passed by, as my tears dried and my breath hitched.

"Kyun" the words left my lips as I laid there half asleep as the party down stars had started. "Woah having a nice dream are we?" That voice...its warm and familiar. Who is it? They're close by because I can feel the warmth of their touch.

"Mm" was all I said as my body continued to lay their in its daydream state, a smile plastered on my lips as I tossed and turned. "I wouldn't let your imagination run to far y/n...I'm not good for you, we both know that" the voice became more clear and suddenly my eyes flew open.

"KYUN!?" Our eyes met and I noticed he was standing against my door with it shut. "Dreaming about me?" He smirked but I could see a blush present on his face as he did.

"What- NO! get out my room go back down to the party" I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Why does he have to be the first person i see when I wake up, put of everyone who could have woken me up for the party.

His eyes followed me as I leaned over my bed to grab my phone, if he was already here and by the sound of the music I assume the party is in full swing.
My assumptions would be wrong however because as I clicked my phone on the time read 8:56pm, "Kyun what the fuck, its barely 9 o'clock get the hell out of my room before Joo Heon see's you up here!" I yelled at the older boy chucking my pillow across the room at him.

"Damn last time you screamed at me while in your room we were-"

Knock, knock.

His words were cut short by someone knocking on my door, fuck.

"Hey y/n are you awake? Just letting you know the guys are all here...come down when your ready" luckily it was Hyungwon and not Joo Heon. "Yeah I'll be down in a bit Hyungwon, make sure my brother stays out of trouble will you" I spoke through the door while glaring at Kyun.

"Alrighty will do, see you down stairs then"

Thank god he left without another word, because now I can beat Kyun up.

"What the actual fuck" I snapped at him, "you don't get to show up here and say shit like that...its not your place and as you told me it was a mistake" I shoved him back towards the door signalling him to leave but all he did was stand there...his arms crossed and eyes staring at me.

"Is...that my shirt?" He asked out of no where, I look down and remembered I was wearing a graphic shirt I've owned since forever.
"No this is mine...dumbass I've had this since forever" I told him as he just stood there staring at the top, "no I'm pretty sure that's my shirt from 6th grade...I remember it going missing one time and I was almost certain your brother stole it" he tapped his finger on his chin deep in thought.

"Even if it was that would be years ago...meaning again I've owned this for ages" I am so done with him right now...I'm mad at him but all at the same time I just want him.

He noticed my discomfort after a while and looked down to the floor, "I um...well I came in to...apologise". Chang kyun...apologising? Don't make me laugh.

Suddenly I started laughing, "your apologising, for what? The years of torment you put me through after breaking my heart or the fact you randomly kissed me in the parking lot? Or..is it the fact you told my brother the fact you had me pushed up against a wall during his new years party?" I snapped once more, I could feel my pent up frustration over flow as I finally let all my feelings from earlier today out infront of him.

With one step forwards his body was now flush against my own as he wrapped his hands around my small frame in a hug.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered into my hair as he kissed the top of my head, pulling back to wipe the tear I didn't know had fallen.

"You d..do...don't get t...to be so..sorry kyun, y...you left me" I stuttered out between sobs, crying harder into his chest as I relived on through our childhood memories.

"I know...I know, I had my reasons but I'm sorry you had to go through so much alone...I'm sorry I hurt you" his words patched up my broken heart as my breathing eased and my tears stopped flowing.

I pulled away to look up at him, a tear running down his own face.

"You don't know how much pain I went through without you..." I said quietly, standing up on my tippy toes to kiss away his running tear.
"You were my best friend...I didn't care if you became a school fuckboy I just wanted my bestfriend back" I looked down in sadness and so did he.

"Look...I know I said I'm sorry, so ah...this is gonna hurt us both again but I can't come back into your life like that again...the reason I left to begin with, its still around and I don't want to put you in harms way because of my own selfish desire" his voice was raspy from crying and I could hear the sadness behind those words.

I just cried harder against him as I let his words sink in. "I understand" was all I could mutter before looking up at him, crashing my lips to his in an attempt to atleast find closure in losing him.

If I can be close with him once more tonight then I'll be happy, and to my surprise he kissed me back.

Our lips moving together as he took over, my tongue slid across his bottom lip wanting more, needing more from him.
Allowing me access, our tongues danced as muffled moans and whimpers left our throats, I couldn't wait any longer I needed him.

I pulled slightly on the hem of his shirt wanting him to remove it, but I probably shouldn't have.

He broke the kiss.

Looking me in the eyes with a sad smile, "I'm sorry...I can't hurt you anymore then that, you'll just miss me more" was all he said as I broke down to my knees cradling them while I cry.

He caressed my hair and planted a soft kiss on them before leaving towards the door, one last 'sorry' leaving his mouth before he disappeared into the party down stairs.

Leaving me alone up in my room, with nothing but the lingering scent of his musk and cologne in the air.