Shadows || A Severus Snape Fanfiction

Chapter 40 - Holiday Hangovers Pt 1

A/N: me listening to Alan read Shakespear on the surround sound speakers in my car... mmmholy F❌CK 🥵

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Only an idiot would deny it, and Severus Snape wasn't an idiot. So yes, tonight he had experienced a certain... sexual attraction towards Asha. But in no way was it significant. Asha was simply an attractive young woman - a department in which Hogwarts was severely lacking, so no wonder she had caught his eye.

Severus lay on top of his covers, still clothed in his Yule Ball attire. His arms were crossed and he was glaring at the ceiling as if it had just said something extremely insulting.

He was finally being forced to admit to himself that, though tonight had been particularly jarring, this wasn't the first time Asha's physical features had caught his eye. Just in small ways: for one, her lips. He'd noticed she had a habit of biting them in a subtle way that she thought no one could see. He felt himself twitch every time he caught her doing it.

But that wasn't all he'd noticed. There were her perfect cheekbones, her graceful curves, her never-ending legs. Of course, he'd noticed. What man wouldn't? But it had only been in small bursts, easily dismissed.

Tonight, though. The lust he had felt for her had been bone-deep. Figuratively that is, not literally, thank Merlin. But she had literally frozen him to the spot. Paralysed him without magic. At no other point in his life, had anyone else succeeded in having such an effect on him. Even in front of the Dark Lord and unlike most of the other Death Eaters, Severus had never experienced being 'frozen by fear'. He pursed his lips, suddenly remembering Asha's relation to that harrowing man.

He was still struggling to wrap his mind around the fact she was Voldemort's daughter. No two people could have such polar opposite effects on him. The way Asha had touched him. Pulled herself against him. The tickle of her breath as her dewy lips had come only inches from his skin. The way that dress had clung to her body...

Severus growled and shifted his legs. It must've been the alcohol. Must be the alcohol.

He forced himself up and over to the bathroom cabinet where he swiped a potion for dreamless sleep and took a hefty swig. It was inadvisable to mix this draught with alcohol but he couldn't care less. He wanted these thoughts out of his head.

Because deep down, Severus was doing his utmost to avoid pondering the even more frightening possibility: that it was more than just lust that he felt for Asha.

When it came to Winters, becoming any closer or more intimate than just friends - if he even dared call their relationship that - was out of the question, end of story. It was a concept he refused to even toy with, let alone fantasize about.

The reasons for this were simple: even in the absurd event that Asha reciprocated any kind of attraction towards him, she was far too young, too close, and too wrapped up in his life. As a rule, Severus didn't involve himself with any woman he couldn't leave at the drop of a hat; never to be seen again. Even more strictly, he didn't involve himself with anyone he was remotely emotionally connected to (though that didn't usually knock out many players).

It was already hard for him to accept that he did have some form of an 'emotional investment' in Asha. But his proximity to her had reached its limit. And should these feelings of desire for her ever arise again in such strength, he would simply not be acting on them.

*

To Asha's relief, Severus seemed completely unaffected, disinterested and dismissive of everything that was said and done at the Yule Ball. This meant that on the surface, their interactions continued as normal. Besides, for either of them to do anything else would be admitting that what had transpired that night had been of any significance.