couldn't keep it in

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"long time no see man!" "oh my god you look so different now" "how are you doing?" it was the 10 year anniversary of the 2021 graduating batch of saebom high school and they were having a get together. it was filled with noise and laughter as the once classmates flocked to catch up with each other and reminisced about the good old times, everybody was happy to be there and suho watched lovingly as jukyung chatted with sooah and soojin and a small smile spread on his face as he observed the people around him. he felt happy , at peace but most importantly excited.
he once again reached for his pocket to ensure it was there , he had planned and thought about this for so long and what better place to do it than a celebration of the place that brought them together and gave them many memories? everybody that had been with them on their journey was here as well - even seojun who made time out of his busy schedule. now he just needed to find the right time to do it.
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everybody had finished eating and they were now about to move on to alcohol , suho decided it was now or never before everyone gets wasted. "guys i have an announcement to make" suho stood up and took jukyung's hand and gracefully lifted her up from her seat too and softly chuckled at her confused pikachu face.
"ever since the day you entered my life , you made my world into a whirlwind and changed everything for me and became the most important person in my life and i want to be with you forever through everything so will you marry me , im jukyung?" the diamond in the ring sparkled but not as much as suho's eyes that had a hopeful look and was staring at jukyung with such love that she didn't know what to do , thoughts came into her mind again , flashbacks of her past , the things people said , the way people treated her and she did not know why she was thinking of this because the love of her life was right in front of her asking her to be with him forever but she just could not get those thoughts and monsters out of her head. she looked around and saw everyone staring with concerned eyes and realised how long she had been standing there without giving an answer, she couldn't. she just couldn't she didn't know why but she didn't feel like she could, she didn't feel good enough.
and she felt stupid to be feeling like this because afterall suho did to help her and all she did to help herself and better herself , she still felt like that lost and broken 18 year old im jukyung. and she hated herself right there more than she had ever.

"i can't... i'm sorry suho."

you had a speech, you're speechless
love slipped beyond your reaches
and I couldn't give a reason
champagne problems.

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