BTS Oneshots

Nightmare - Namjoon

TW // death, car crash

This life is a nightmare, a nightmare Namjoon can never seem to escape from.

Jimin's scream, a loud crash resonating, almost there, almost... then his alarm blared. He was groggy, exhausted, and no doubt sleep-deprived, the nightmares taunting him, restlessness tainting his sleep. Nevertheless, he craves the nightmares because then he has a little control. Then he'd be able to at least try harder.

The apartment BTS calls their dorm is, for lack of better description, noisy and chaotic. Of course, it's not always that way. All the members are after all adults who enjoy their privacy and are obviously rich enough to afford each their own houses. But that fateful morning, it sure was packed. 9:33, Namjoon got back from his early morning walks to find Jungkook and Jimin arguing over Mario Kart, with Taehyung and Hoseok egging them on and the delicious smell of bacon and coffee filling the room. Jin is in the kitchen then. Only one member is missing.

Speak of the devil. Yoongi walks out holding a flash disk, his laptop inside his gaping open laptop bag, and a pile of papers, mumbling something about needing to quickly give the flash disk to Pdogg. Jungkook, seemingly eager to get away from the stupid argument going around the living room, offers to help. Namjoon suspects he just wants to drive around in his brand-new car.

The two scurried to the elevator, Jimin running after them saying some incoherent shit. 9:37, the car should've been pretty near that darned street corner- and there is the obnoxiously loud crash. All the remaining members run down the emergency stairs, not caring to wait for the elevator only to find out that a massive truck had crashed into the car containing two of their band members and a very distraught and screaming Jimin.

Namjoon is entering the dorm again, Jimin and Jungkook still bickering. Yoongi walks out, flash disk, unzipped laptop bag, and a bunch of papers in hand. He mumbles something about needing to hand them to Pdogg and before Namjoon could stop himself, he asks, "Can't it wait?" only for the older to look at him quizzically.

"You seem off," he said. "And to answer your question, no, it can't wait, I was supposed to give it yesterday but I fell asleep too early." Namjoon had no response to that, he just wished the awfully short exchange can stall Yoongi and Jungkook some time. Jungkook offers to help. They leave, chased by a tiny faux blonde whose scream is somehow still ringing in Namjoon's ears. Five minutes of silence, well not really silence since Hoseok and Taehyung decided to take over Jungkook and Jimin's roles of bickering like a bunch of five-year-olds, then a loud crash and a scream. They dash down the stairs to find out a truck had crashed into Jungkook's car and Jimin was apparently crying and screaming at the same time.

Namjoon is once again entering the apartment that serves as BTS's dorm, though mostly only Jin, Hoseok, and himself stay in it. This time there was only one thing on his mind. The loud noises and the rich bacon smell are merely a background as Namjoon stands still, counting seconds until Yoongi would appear.

The rapper walks out of his room, hands still full, still holding the same items as previously, still mumbling about needing to quickly hand the flash disk to Pdogg. Namjoon takes a deep breath.

"I'll do it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"You can use my car, Jungkook pipes up, throwing his car keys at him. "Just don't scratch her, she's brand new."

"We get it Jungkook, you have a new car," Taehyung rolls his eyes

"Just don't scratch her or I'll kill you." Jungkook looks dead serious, if Namjoon doesn't know him too well he might've been scared. I will die, just not from getting killed after scratching his car.

"Scratch it on purpose," Hoseok offered, which earned him a chicken nugget throw pillow chucked at his face. Namjoon looks fondly at his members, his family, knowing damn well this is his last chance of doing so.

"I love you, all of you," he blurts out, earning a raise of Yoongi's eyebrow.

"That was random."

"I just wanted to say it."

"I love you too. We all do."

Namjoon notices their album when going through Jungkook's CD collection. He finds it adorable. He should be rushing, but he takes his time putting the CD in the DVD player, silently hoping, praying that he had given the truck another car to hit, anyone else's. selfish? Yes, definitely. But he just wants to survive, he just wants to be with his members, he just wants to appreciate them, to hug them and tell them all how much he loves them, how much they mean to him.

He's not usually a big fan of listening to his own recordings, but this time, it was different. He sings along, letting the words consume him, letting himself remember every single memory, both good and bad, that he made with the six boys he has grown to love like his own brothers. There's that corner over there, no destruction in sight... yet. Tears are blurring his eyes and he sings louder as the sound of tires screeching overpowers everything else. He squeezes his eyes shut, refusing to look even when he feels like he's being tossed in the air, even when something sharp pokes against his stomach, even when his entire body burned in pain. He keeps singing, up until the metallic taste in his mouth becomes too much and warmth and oblivion slowly embraces him, the last thing he hears being collective shouting of "Namjoon" "Joonie" and "Namjoon-hyung" that feels so far away. The pain fades.

But still, his alarm clock blares. Reality hit him like a truck; what happened already happened, and he can't change it. Jungkook's urn is currently sitting in the columbarium, and there is nothing he can do about it. Yoongi is laying in a coma, chances are he'll never wake up, and there is nothing he can do about it. He wishes it was him, he wishes things could change, but the milk is spilled.