Rotting World, Blossoming Love I ONC 2021

Chapter 14

"Nathan! Oh my God, Nathan! Is that really you? Are you really back? I didn't die and go to heaven, did I?" I ask in a blur of words that I can't stop.

"Did you really mean what you said?" Nathan asks slowly, his lips stretching into a tired smile.

"What did I say?" I ask, confused.

I try to remember what I said before he turned, but all I can think about is what I just said.

There is no way he heard all of that, is there?

"That you are falling in love with me," Nathan slowly says like a child learning to speak for the first time.

"I... I," I start stuttering, blushing profusely.

Although I believe in being honest in this cruel world, my body still stutters and stumbles if I am too sincere. Especially if it can lead to my heart being broken. I guess some remnants of the old world are bound to stick with us no matter what happens.

Nathan puts his finger to my lips, saving me from having to say anything at all.

"Before I turned, I had been trying to tell you something, do you remember?" Nathan says.

"Yes, you started saying 'I..' and then you were gone," I say, quivering at the memory.

Nathan now holds my face with both of his hands, looking deep into my eyes that prevents me from escaping his gaze.

"I had wanted to tell you before I ceased to exist that I was falling in love with you," he says.

"What?" I ask, not believing my own ears.

"I am falling in love with you, Marissa," he repeats gently.

"If that's true, why didn't you tell me before?" I ask.

I have no idea why I am interrogating a man who just told me he was in love with me. However, I need to know the answer to my question to believe it's the truth that I'm hearing.

"I don't know. I thought it might be too soon; that I would scare you away.

"I mean, we have known each other for only a few days. I didn't think you would find it normal that I fell head over heels in love with you," he says.

"Nathan," I say, exasperated by his naivety.

We live in a world where normal has gone down the drain along with millions of people. And there he is, worrying that I would find his feelings strange.

"Let me finish," he says as his regular speech pattern returns.

"From the first moment I saw you, I knew there was something special about you.

"I don't believe it was love at first sight because I don't believe in that. I think it was more like intuition telling me that I needed to get to know you, that it would be good for me," Nathan says.

Since we keep eye contact during his whole confession, I can see that he is telling me the truth. No one has ever looked at me the way he does nor as long as he does.

It feels fantastic and vulnerable at the same time.

Nathan is the first guy I feel safe enough to show my vulnerabilities to. I think that says a lot about how much he means to me.

Looking at his watery eyes, I realize that this is a two-way street. He allows me to see his weaknesses as well. It makes me feel better than I ever felt before.

It's like a deep spiritual and, at the same time, romantic feeling that I can't fully comprehend.

"Then I got to know you and realized how kind and sensitive you are. I could see the beauty of your soul even though you weren't aware of it.