Rotting World, Blossoming Love I ONC 2021

Chapter 11

As we move towards the city, my mind keeps going back to Jessica, to the little I know about her. It is difficult to imagine that all that intelligence, personality, is just wiped away.

It terrifies me.

However, what scares me even more is thinking about her fate. Sure, we didn't kill her but does that change anything? Did we just end up prolonging her suffering?

Logically thinking, there is no point in not killing her when we have left her behind, tied up and with no sustenance.

Yet, my intuition is telling me that we did well. That little voice at the back of my mind, that feeling in my gut, is getting louder and louder every day, and for better or worse, it told me to keep Jessica in this world.

"Marissa?" Nathan says questioningly.

It's odd to see how worried he gets about me when we barely know each other. Besides, one would think he would get bored with trying to keep me afloat.

"Just thinking," I say instead of repeating that I am fine, which I'm definitely not.

"About Jessica?" Nathan asks.

"Yes, about her future. Whether I did the right thing or not," I say.

"Well, I can't tell you if what you did was the right thing to do. However, you did what was in your heart, and I think that matters," Nathan says.

"What matters?" I ask, my mind unable to keep up with what he is saying.

"Following your heart," Nathan says.

"I've never done that as much as you do, and I admire you for it. Following one's logic can be a tricky and cold business. It's nice to see the warmth of someone who follows their heart for a change," Nathan says while smiling warmly at me.

"Maybe, but that's the easiest way to get your heart broken," I say.

"Has your heart been broken?" Nathan asks.

Simultaneously his parents hurry ahead of us as if they don't wish to eavesdrop on our conversation.

"My heart breaks a little every time people treat each other poorly or hurt each other," I say honestly.

"Have you been hurt?" He asks softly.

"Once or twice. But it was nothing too bad, no big heartbreaks, just big disappointments," I say.

"Guys, I think we are getting close," Eric says, pointing at the sign that says Forbuy.

Only then do I realize what a horrible zombie survivor I am since I didn't even notice that we came upon a road and have been walking down it for who knows how long.

"Alright, we need to look sharp. The closer we get to the city limits, the greater are our chances of running into zombies," Nathan says.

He has turned from a warm, affectionate guy into a soldier in a matter of seconds, and I am a bit stunned by it.

It's one thing to know that someone is a soldier and a whole different thing to see them in action.

The cold, calculated look that comes into his eyes reassures me that he can keep us safe, but it is also a look that I would not want to see on a friend.

It feels somehow wrong. Void of emotions. Unlike Nathan, or at least the Nathan that I came to know.

However, when he turns to me, it's like the ice in his eyes melts away, and I can see the warm sun rays of spring in them.

"Are you ready for this?" Nathan asks.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I say.

It's odd how I am being more honest with him than I've ever been with anyone. I guess that with the world and its social conventions crumbling to pieces, I feel partly liberated, like I could say anything and no one would judge me for it.

Besides, what's the point in lying when we can die in the next moment? I don't want the last thing that passes my lips to be a lie.

"I'll go first, and Marge and Marissa should stay between us," Eric says.

Nathan nods his head curtly though I can see that he doesn't like the idea of his dad taking the lead, of him being in danger.

Still, it makes more sense as they are already ahead of us, and it would wound Eric's pride if Nathan opposed his idea.

As we move cautiously towards the city limits, everything seems a bit too quiet for me.

I expected us to meet a zombie or two at least, but all we see are some empty cars on the side of the road.

I could feel that something was wrong. There was that strange tightening in my gut that told me we had to be careful.

However, I couldn't tell what was wrong, where exactly the danger was.

"Do you hear that?" Eric asks, stopping suddenly.

The leaves rustle in the forest on our left, and a loud snap of a branch helps me realize that something is approaching.

In a matter of seconds, Nathan's gun is raised and pointed in the direction of the sound.

"Identify yourself," Nathan says loud enough for those in the woods to hear him.

I hold my breath as I wait to see if there will be a reply or if we would be attacked by a horde of zombies.

"Don't shoot. I don't want to be shot by the sharpshooter I risked so much to get," Jason says, appearing behind the last row of trees, looking a bit worse for wear.

There are a few people with him, but all I can think is that he is safe.

Though I trusted Nathan when he told me that the dead body wasn't Jason's, it feels good to get visual confirmation of his safety.

However, my relief is short-lived as I remember what I have to tell him.

I run to him and hug him tightly, although I know he is not really into hugging. I just can't stop myself.

"Marissa, what the..." he starts to ask as my arms hold tightly to him.

"Jason, I am so sorry," I say, sobbing.

It feels as if I have kept my sorrow at bay all this time, and now, seeing him, the pain has burst out, broken all the dams I have built. I can't hold back.

"What are you talking about?" Jason asks, confused, looking around as if he is looking for something.

"Jessica...she is...we saw..." I try to say through tears, but words refuse to come to me.

"She turned. I am sorry, man," Nathan says, noting my struggles.

Jason stiffens in my arms, and I don't know if I should give him space or hug him tighter.

"Did you..." Jason starts to ask Nathan.

"No, Marissa insisted that we don't shoot her," Nathan says.

At the mention of my name, I let Jason go since I am not sure if he will be happy with my decision.

"We tied her up like twenty minutes from here, in that direction," Nathan says, pointing to where we came from.

"I see," Jason says robotically.

Nathan steps closer to him and pulls him to the side.

"There is something else you need to know," Nathan says.

That is all I hear before they move away.

I am not sure if I don't hear them because of the distance between us or the sobs that shake my body.

As Marge comes and embraces me, saying soothing words to me, Jason and Nathan finish their discussion.

"Alright, you guys, go with them. Nathan is in charge," Jason tells his men, his voice on the edge of cracking.

"Where is he going?" I whisper to Nathan as he comes closer.

"To see his wife," he answers.

And just like that, we start moving on towards the city without the people closest to me by my side.