Mine (a Riverdale fanfiction)

Each Other's Shadows

As his birthday approached, both Jughead and Betty had reached a point where what was between them had come to seem too real. They had come together so quickly, so naturally, and now they found themselves increasingly bound to one another, and that felt ... terrifying. Could they trust each other with who they really were? Both Jughead and Betty had spent most of their lives hiding their true selves from even their nearest and dearest, knowing that most wouldn't understand, and not trusting that those who understood would like what they saw. Suddenly they were together, and contemplating a vulnerability that didn't come easily to either of them.

This came out on Jughead's side in a pulling away, a desire to distance himself before he got hurt, and on Betty's side in a desperate attempt to achieve the kind of perfection she had always been taught to aim for. To be the perfect girlfriend, to plan the perfect party.

And somehow the way they usually understood each other, the easy flow of conversation, was off-kilter, as both of them spoke on the surface and didn't say what was really in their thoughts.

The party was a flop in every way possible. Jughead retreated, Betty tried to pretend that normal was what she really wanted. Faced with Chuck, with the memory of whatever had come over her the night she got him to confess to what she'd done, she wanted to hide that darkness within her, to pull Jughead out of the dark where he lived so they could both be in the light, afraid that neither of them could handle each other's shadows. But he didn't want the light, and she was afraid to get too comfortable in the dark.

At last she found him in the garage, where he immediately attacked her for inviting his father to what had become a kegger. "You do know my dad has a drinking problem, right?"

"Of course I do! I didn't think people would be drinking tonight. I didn't plan on Chuck and Cheryl and the rest of the school crashing, okay? This was supposed to be just your friends."

"You and Archie are my friends. Okay? Everyone else—including Kevin, including Veronica—are people that two months ago I would have actively shunned."

"Why?"

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in, and I don't want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That's weird."

"Why are you getting so upset?" she demanded. "It's just a party, Jug."

"It's not just a party. It's the fact that you don't know, or even care, that this is the last thing I would want."

That rocked her back. Because he was right; she hadn't wanted to know, or care.

"You did this for you," he told her. "To prove something."

"To prove what?"

"You're a great girlfriend? I don't know." He shifted, going on the attack instead of the defensive. "Doesn't it ever occur to you just how different we are? On a cellular DNA kind of level? You're a straight-A student, you're a cheerleader, for God sakes. You're the perfect girl next door!"

"I hate that word," she told him, but he couldn't stop.

"I'm the damaged loner outsider from the wrong side of the tracks. Betty, come on. Who are we kidding? We're on borrowed time."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

They looked at each other. He wanted her to deny it, to tell him that they were more alike than he knew. She wanted him to take it back, to tell her she didn't have to show him how damaged she was for them to be together. Both of them wanted nothing more than to be in each other's arms. But they had come too far for that.