Over the next few days, the Baudelaires were forced by Coach Genghis to run laps all night long, causing them to be extremely tired. Sunny still had to make staples, (Sabine's supply had run out already), and Violet and Klaus kept falling asleep in class.
"This is getting ridiculous," Isadora said when Sunny updated her siblings and friends at the start of another weary lunch. "Look at you, Sunny. It was inappropriate to hire you as an administrative assistant in the first place, and it's absurd to have you crawl laps by night and make your own staples by day."
"Don't call my sister absurd or ridiculous!" Klaus snapped, suddenly getting upset for seemingly no reason.
"I'm not calling her ridiculous!" Isadora said defensively. "I'm calling the situation ridiculous!"
"Ridiculous means you want to laugh at it," said Klaus, who apparently was not too tired to define words, "and I don't want you laughing at us."
"I'm not laughing at you," Isadora said. "I'm trying to help."
"Well, laughing at us doesn't help at all, you cakesniffer."
Isadora gasped. "Calling me names doesn't help either, Klaus."
"Mumdum!" Sunny shrieked.
"Oh, stop it, both of you," Duncan said. "Isadora, clearly Klaus is just too sleep deprived to understand you're not trying to be rude."
"Tell me about it," Klaus mumbled. He took his glasses off and dropped his head on the table. "I'm sorry, Isadora. Being tired makes me crabby. In a few days I'll turn as nasty as Carmelita Spats."
Isadora shook her hand and patted his hand softly. "You'll never be as nasty as Carmelita Spats," she reassured him.
"Carmelita Spats?" Violet asked, lifting her head from her tray. She had dozed through Isadora and Klaus's argument but woken up at the sound of the horrible girl's name. For the past week or so, she'd been the one to inform them that they had to run all night for Coach Genghis' special exercise program. "She's not coming here again to tell us to do laps, is she?"
"I'm afraid she is," Duncan said exasperatedly, gently cupping Violet's head and bringing it to his shoulder. She snuggled into him appreciatively, clearly very glad to have something to rest on besides her plastic lunch tray.
"Hello, cakesniffers," Carmelita Spats said as she approached. "Today I have two messages for you, so I should really get two tips instead of one."
"Oh, Carmelita," Klaus said. "You haven't gotten a tip for the last nine days, and I see no reason to break that tradition."
"That's because you're a stupid orphan," Carmelita Spats said promptly. "Anyways, message number one is the usual: meet Coach Genghis on the front lawn right after dinner."
Violet gave an exhausted groan. "And what's the second message?" she asked.
"The second message is that you must report to Vice Principal Nero's office right away," Carmelita said bubbly.
"Vice Principal Nero's office?" Klaus asked. "Why?"
"I'm sorry," Carmelita Spats said with a nasty smile to indicate that she wasn't sorry one bit. "I don't answer questions from non-tipping orphan cakesniffers."
Sabine was very tempted to throw her lunch right in Carmelita's freckled face, but somehow managed to contain herself. 'Somehow' meaning she jabbed her plastic fork into her own leg and pressed it harder when the image of green mush in Carmelita's hair flashed through her mind.
Some children at the neighboring table laughed when they heard the insults Carmelita was throwing and began banging their silverware on the table.
"Cakesniffing orphans in the Orphans Shack! Cakesniffing orphans in the Orphans Shack!" they chanted as Carmelita Spats giggled and skipped off to finish her lunch.
YOU ARE READING
𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕋𝕨𝕠 ℂ𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕣𝕒𝕡𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕤 (ASOUE)
Fanfiction"Shh, don't cry, Sabine," Quigley whispered in her ear. "It's okay, don't cry." His hand slid down her arm, then gently landed in her palm. He slowly spread his fingers out, then carefully entwined them with hers, as if he were savoring every sweet...
