Beautiful Disaster

Chapter Three

Chapter Three

"Come on Meg, let's get out of bed today." Vanessa whins while opening the door to my room and turning on the light. It's Saturday which is my day off from school and work. So it's when I sleep.

"Get the fuck OUT!" I scream and pull the covers over my head.

"Don't be a bitch Megan." She snaps and throws clothes on my bed.

"Just because it's your day off doesn't mean you get to lay in bed all day."

"Why the hell not? It's MY fucking day off." I give her the finger because I am not in the mood to deal with her bullshit.

"Look, I am just trying to help you." Vanessa tries to explain.

"If you want to help me then get out of my room and turn off the light!" I scream. Why won't she leave me alone?! If she thinks I am depressed then leave me the fuck alone.

"UGH!" I scream as my cat Little jumps on top of my wanting his food. He climbs on top of me and start meowing in my ear. I pet him as he purs. I love this cat. If it wasn't for him, I won't be alive.

"Come on Little, let's get your food." I go in the kitchen and grab Little his wet cat food. He meows the whole time while I get the food out. I set the food down to him and he purrs and eats with a smile on his face.

"Glad to see your out of bed." Vassena adds.

"Well Little was hungry." I smile for the first time in a while. It feels nice to smile. I don't smile much these days but when I do it's because of Little. I have always loved cats and he is my favorite person in the whole world. He makes me smile despite being depressed.

"What are your plans for your day off?" Vassena asks me as I pour myself a cup of coffee.

I come sit down on the couch with my coffee in my head and tell her: "I probably need to do lots of school work then later do some writing." Vassena knows and supports my writing career. She has always been later for me no matter what. I love her for that.

"Sounds like a good day. Just don't do anything stupid. Because I have work today so I can't clean up your mess."

I halfway smile as Vassena laughs. I know she is being serious but also she's very funny.

"I got to get ready for work. Have a good day." She leaves as I get off the couch and fix some breakfast. I don't like to eat a lot but I know Kyle would kill me if he knew I was skipping meals so I ate and now I will go do school work.

***

I finish all my homework thankfully and hopefully this will help my grades. Being depressed in college and working part time is a full time job. Being depressed making everything ten times harder. It's like I have a dark ghost following me everywhere I go. I can do things but the ghost stay is there just waiting for me to feel my feelings again. This ghost is fucking monster that I wish I could kill and then he would leave me the fuck alone. But I know depression doesn't work that way.

I pour myself a glass of wine and sit on the couch. I turn on my favorite show Grey's anatomy to get my mind off my thoughts.

"You should just kill youself."

"No one is hear but you and Little. It would be easy just to die."

"You are worthless Megan. You are a fucking piece of shit."

"Do the world a favor and kill yourself."

"UGH!" I scream trying to get the suicidal thoughts out of my head.

"Why am I so fucked up?" I cry and tears roll down my face.

Yep. This is what depression feels like. The ghost is beating me and sadly, he is winning. I wish the ghost would just fucking kill me already.

"Beep!" My phone buzzes and I check my messages:

"I have signed you up for a mental illness support group. Kyle runs it and it starts tomorrow at 7 o'clock. So don't miss it or else. Love you. -xoxo MOM"

Fuck. Now I have to start my feeling with people I don't know.

This day could not get much worse.

"Meow?" Little sees me crying so he jumps on top of me and I pet him as I cry.

Ugh. Fuck my life.

***

Hey beautiful I hope you are doing good. I hope you are enjoying my new story. I am having so much fun writing it💗💜❤️

Thank you so much for reading💗 I love you all💗💜❤️

-xoxo Caty💗💜❤️