Arrowverse One-Shot Collection

Permafrost (Killervibe)

Content: In the alternate future in which Killer Frost remains a hostile prisoner, Cisco mourns the friend that was. 

He'd thought it would be easy. 

When Killer Frost appeared and took over Caitlin's body, Cisco had truly believed that getting her back would be a simple matter of talking her down and helping her remember who she was. He was so sure that she'd eventually find her way back to him. But nothing was quite so easy. 

Killer Frost seemed not to have the majority of Caitlin's memories, but she knew him well enough to weaponize his emotions. So often, he would think he was getting close, that a small part of Caitlin could hear him and was fighting to regain control, only for Killer Frost to smirk as he softened and strike out with every intention of ending his life. 

After her capture, he'd thought that perhaps he'd have a better time getting through to her. Every day for a week, he stood outside her cell in the Pipeline, talking about his favorite memories with her and showing her pictures of them together. Most of the time, she just scoffed and refused to acknowledge him, but after he while she became more and more hostile each time Cisco visited, to the point that he felt unsafe despite her dampened powers and the everything-proof glass between them. 

When it became clear that this wasn't going to work, Cisco threw himself into the scientific approach. For the first few months, Barry was at his side, working just as hard as Cisco to find a cure for Caitlin's ailment. Then they lost Iris, and Barry might as well have died with her. 

Cisco continued his work alone, pausing only to attend Iris's funeral and periodically check up on the surviving members of their broken little family. 

After about a year, his minimal progress stalled completely, and a small part of him began calling for him to give up, to move on with his life. He desperately wished he could, but Team Flash was his life. Saving Caitlin was his only chance at regaining some small part of what he'd lost. God knew he'd already lost too much. 

One year bled into two, then five, then ten, until one day Cisco opened his eyes and realized it had been nearly two decades since he'd last seen his best friend. His research on a potential cure lay long abandoned in the lab he hadn't even entered in five years, but he still made the drive to S.T.A.R. Labs every day just to make sure Killer Frost got something to eat. 

It had been Julian's job, once upon a time, but he'd grown unreliable in recent years and more often than not, the task fell to Cisco. 

He didn't mind as much as he thought he should. If nothing else, it made him feel like he still had a purpose. He may have failed to bring Caitlin back, but he could at least keep her body alive. Perhaps, he told himself wearily each morning, if he just kept it up a little longer, gave her a little more time, she'd finally find her way back to him. 

Frost was awake when he approached her cell around 10am that morning, which was an improvement over the past couple of days. Refusing to get out of bed was her current favorite method of defiance.

"I've got breakfast." He announced, holding up a partially frozen fruit cup. "Gonna eat it today?" Refusing to eat was another of her favorites, but Cisco had found over the years that she was far more likely to accept what he gave her if it was cold. 

"What kind of fruit?" She asked, eyeing the cup with vague interest from her perch on the bed. 

"Apples, peaches, and strawberries." Cisco replied. Killer Frost seemed thoughtful for a moment. 

"Give it." She decided. 

"Please?" Cisco prompted.

"Go fuck yourself." She spat, as expected. After all, Caitlin had been the polite one. 

"Would it kill you to be a little nicer?" Cisco rolled his eyes and placed the fruit cup, along with a plastic spoon, in a slot on the cell's door, then quickly closed it so it could be opened from her side. 

"Obviously not." Killer Frost let out a chuckle as she stabbed the fruit cup open with her spoon. "You keep coming back no matter what I say. Just can't bear to let your precious Caity starve, huh?"

Cisco looked away uncomfortably. She was right; had she not been in Caitlin's body, he likely would have abandoned her long ago. 

"I don't know why you still think she's coming back." Killer Frost continued. Cisco looked back up at her, mildly surprised. She hadn't brought this up in years. "It's been twenty years. When are you going to wake up and realize she's dead?"

"She's not dead." Cisco replied automatically. It had been a long time since they'd had this argument, but during their first few years together, it had happened so many times that all of their typical responses were still scripted in his head. 

"I'd give her back if I could." Killer Frost sighed and leaned back against the wall, her fruit cup laying abandoned on the bed beside her. 

"What?" Cisco asked. She'd never said that before. 

"The whole reason I took over was so I could live, but I'm not exactly doing much of that, am I?" She asked bitterly. 

She took a deep breath, and Cisco though wasn't positive, he thought there might be tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

"This is just like being trapped in her head, except now I have to deal with you and the British guy all the time. I'd rather let her take control than keep living like this, but I can't, okay? She's not there to take control. She's dead, and no amount of waiting is going to bring her back, so just get the hell out of here. You've wasted enough time." 

"Caitlin's not a waste of time!" He growled, blinked back tears of his own. He'd thought he was past the point of being angry with her; just another thing he'd been wrong about. "You and Savitar took everything from me. All I have left is the hope that I can get some of it back." 

"Is that supposed to make me feel bad for you?" Killer Frost scoffed. Cisco hated that she was getting to him, but he just didn't have the energy to fight with her. Not anymore. 

"I loved you so much." He whispered, though he wasn't sure why. He knew all too well that even if Caitlin was still there, she couldn't hear him. 

Killer Frost let out a heavy sigh, her expression softening into something resembling pity. She met his eyes, preparing to deliver what was probably the only act of kindness she would ever give to anyone.

"She loved you too."