Guilt: The Trial of Izuku Midoriya

Chapter Thirteen: Guilt (Original)

Ochako stared at the green door before her. Only moments prior, it had been a flimsy rectangle made of wood and lacquer. Now, it was an insurmountable wall, a chasm that she couldn't fathom crossing. Open it. Open it, you coward. It had been several excruciatingly long minutes since Bakugo had gone downstairs, and still she stood, unable to move. Her brain ached, trying with all of her might to force her body into action. Open it... please, just... move. She could still hear Izuku's soft sobs from beyond the thin wooden panel. As the sounds of his grief washed over her, a single tear ran down her face. What are you doing? The love of your life is in there. In pain. Don't... don't you want to help? Don't you want to make him smile again? Her breath caught in her throat as she choked back her own desire to cry. Despite her efforts, she wouldn't be able to avoid the truth of the matter. It was a dark pit, forming in her stomach, and the more she ignored it, the more it grew. This single, wretched fact sat in her abdomen, and the weight of it brought her to her knees. She struggled to breathe as her tears began to flow. She had to face it.

I can't make this better.

Ochako cried. Collapsing completely onto the floor, she sobbed as the whirlwind of self-hatred swirled around her. Useless. You're useless. Didn't you say you'd help? You're not doing anything right now. Didn't you say he wasn't alone? I don't see anyone in there with him. Her hand covered her mouth as the silent agony enveloped her. What, are you just gonna hug him? Kiss him, and make it better? Although she hadn't used her quirk, she felt moments away from vomiting. Yeah. Just give him a little peck on the cheek, you idiot. That'll totally make up for the whole, 'you took a girl's father away' thing. Why did you think you would ever be able to help? Why did you think you were good enough?

Her head snapped up as she heard a crash in the room. Eyes widening, she reached up, fingers tracing the doorknob. For the barest moment, her hand tensed, ready to open the door. Useless. The small amount of resolve she had gathered faded, and her hand fell back to her side. Useless. Fresh tears fell in rivulets as she heard a muffled scream. Useless. Several more agonized cries cracked through the space beneath the door. Useless. Another loud crash came from the room, and then... silence. Ochako furiously wiped at her wet face, and looked back up at the door. Forgoing her other senses, she focused her hearing. Nothing. No more screams rang out, no more sobs were heard. Maybe... maybe he fell asleep. Once again, she reached for the door. Once again, she found her hand back at her side.

Useless.

Katsuki sat at the end of the hall, staring at the girl before him. C'mon Uraraka. Stand up. He had been watching for several minutes now, barely holding himself back from running to her. You're strong... stronger than this. Stand up. He watched as she reacted to a large crash emanating from the room. Her hand rose, only to fall once again. Uraraka. You can do this. It rose a second time. It fell a second time. Katsuki couldn't hold himself back any longer.

In a few long strides, he was by her side. Slowly, he reached down, placing a hand on her shoulder. A sliver of pain shot through his chest, and his heart screamed at him to do more. Hold her. Tell her she'll be okay. He quickly crushed the feeling. After all, he had plenty of practice. He tried to convince himself he felt nothing as she turned her head up, her beautiful brown eyes shimmering with tears. "Uraraka." She shivered as he said her name. Katsuki cursed himself as he felt the faintest blush touch his cheeks. "Are you okay?" She didn't seem to understand the question.

"Bakugo, what... what are you doing?" Her face was a blend of residual pain and budding confusion. His gut twisted. Why would she understand? You're not exactly kind to her. Grimacing, he tried to push through the self-loathing.