My TUA shifting journey

Second update

*Not me deleting this whole thing and having to rant about shifting all over again 😭*

Monday 26th April 2021
10:11 pm

Okay so a little shifting update. I did try shift after reprogramming my subconscious but that was a fail and I'll explain why in a second. Generally I've been SO fucking lazy with shifting, I try shift one night leaving it to the very last minute when I'm very sleepy and try to attempt my method and BOOM I'm asleep before I even finished my method. Why? Because I'm dumb like that and leave shit to the very last minute. (Nevaeh is very dumb. Don't be like Nevaeh) whenever I don't fall asleep accidentally I give up on purpose because yet again I be too tired and tell myself "I'll do it another night" after only counting to about 20 then rolling over to then yet again falling asleep. I'm so lazy with this and then question why I haven't shifted like bitch do you not realize you gotta put in some fair amount of effort. Anyway back to why it was a fail after reprogramming my subconscious, I basically was full on ready and in that positive mindset that I was ready to shift and that night was the night until my mom found out I try to shift and then she was pissed but not that pissed (luckily she never saw my script otherwise I wouldn't be alive to tell you about this today) she gave me a lecture about it telling me it's not real which really ruined my mindset so thanks mom for that. So by the time it came to me shifting that night all I could think about is how my mom was trying to make me believe I was crazy for believing I could do that and how it's not real and more unmotivating shit she was saying, which made me question it and so when I woke up it was a failed attempt and I know why, which is because of what had happened. Anyway I'm going to attempt to shift tonight again with actual effort and not telling myself I'll do it another night because today is the pink moon which is a special night especially for shifting so why not shift tonight and not miss an opportunity. I'm literally so done with this reality like I fucking want to go home, I'm so done with school here, I'm so done with the people here, I'm so done with this life. ( sorry got a little depressing there) anyway back on topic, I'm going to try to shift tonight and really try to put in effort and so I'll update if anything happens.

Update: I fucking fell asleep.