Relatable & Funny Quotes & Sayings

LOL •_•

This is really short and I took a while to update, I know. But I'll try to post another part soon!!! >~<

-Sorry I can't.
My sister's friend's mother's grandma's son's uncle's fish past away. And yes, it was tragic.

-Old people at weddings always poke me and say "You're next." So, I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

-Facebook. Helping stalkers since 2004.

-Menstruation.
Menopause.
Mental breakdowns.
Notice how all women's problems begin with men.

-Mom: "What do you think I am, made of money?"
You: "Isn't that what MOM stands for?

-After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.

-It's all fun and games until the cops get called... Then it's hide and seek.

-If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge?

-Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason why I have trust issues.

-Dear pimples,
If you're going to live on my face, I need to see some rent.

-If you can't convince them, confuse them.

-Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.

-I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

-That awesome comeback you can't say because it would end the friendship.

-The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

-There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

-Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-My teacher pointed at me with a ruler and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot." I got in trouble for asking which end.