I can and will stab you

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I'm so sorry homies I know you're mad at me. This chapter is also kinda sad. It could be triggering to some people because there is referenced self harm. Also I wanted to stretch out the suspense a bit so I am sorry for the short chapter. But we stan Bucky so here's a whole chapter of him being a good  friend ig. 

Y/N's body was racked with powerful sobs as Bucky tightly held her. He wasn't going to ask her what was wrong. Not yet at least. He had never seen her this upset and he understood she needed time.

Eventually she pulled away to check Zemo's phone, which she had kept. There was a message from Oznick. It simply said to go back to the safe house as soon as possible. "Hey, Buck. I need to go," she murmured.

He gripped her shoulder tightly, not waiting to let her go in this moment of vulnerability. "I'm coming with you. I don't want you to be alone right now," he said.

She nodded. Once Sam was done talking to the media he walked over to them. Bucky was talking to him about something or another but Y/N couldn't pay attention. Her mind was in a different place.

A limo was waiting to take them back to the safe house. Y/N noticed that the driver wasn't Oznick. She figured he must be back with Zemo. She thought about the gunshot. If she would've been quicker. If she hadn't tried to pull her gun. If she had just stood a little stronger so he couldn't push her out of the way. Any of those things could have saved Zemo. But she had failed.

The adrenaline was starting to wear off and she noticed the bullets that riddled her torso. She frowned at the wounds, trying to remember how she got them. With a slight hiss of pain, she started to dig the bullets out.

Buck of course, having super hearing and being on high alert, heard this. "Everything alright, doll?" he asked, turning to look at her. She tried to wipe the expression of pain off her face but she was too slow.

"Oh god, who shot you?" he shouted, noticing the bullet holes. Still not in the mood for talking, Y/N groaned and shook her head.

Once they got to the safehouse she rushed to the infirmary, Bucky quickly following after her. When she saw Zemo her legs buckled underneath her. Luckily her friend was there to catch her.

He looked so different from the strong man she had met. His face was pale and his breathing was shallow. He looked weak. It scared her. She had never felt true fear until now.

"It's going to be okay. I'm sure he'll be fine," Bucky said. He was not actually sure, but he wasn't going to tell her that. Although didn't agree with her being anywhere near Zemo, he knew it didn't matter what he thought and he wasn't going to stand in the way of his best friend's happiness.

Still unable to walk, Y/N was carried to the couch in the infirmary. She sat there, anxiously picking her nails and biting her lip for the next few hours. Sam and Bucky had gone to sleep but she couldn't imagine sleeping at a time like this.

Eventually the exhaustion did start to kick in. She remembered her training, breathing in a certain way that helped keep her awake. The sitting there useless was the worst part. She couldn't save him and now she just had to wait and pray he'd be okay.

But the feeling of helplessness became too much for her to bear eventually. Y/N shakily walked to the training room, trying and failing to get her mind off things.

By the time she got there she had managed to calm down a bit. With a deep breath, she threw her first hit at the punching bag in front of her. It broke from the force almost instantly. A groan escaped her lips. It took a little time of looking around before she found something that she could punch without breaking it.

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