Your Eyes Tell ⚝ Jakehoon

3. homesick

Jake's body was tired. Jake's mind was tired. He stood there, barefoot on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, hunched over the sink. He had just eaten dinner if you could call it that. While a feast was served, Jake had just had a morsel of plain rice, with a small glass of milk on the side. He felt low and drained; nobody talked to him. He wondered what shades this school had to its colour scheme. He didn't even know what colours were on his uniform. Moreover, he missed home. He missed his mother's honey voice, calling out to him. He missed the soft movements of her hands that typed away at computers all day. He yearned for the caress of her fingers drying his tear-stained cheeks. He missed home more than ever.

One by one, very slowly, the tears began to spill out of his eyes. Slow, but heavy, leaving an agonizing lump in his parched throat. Then quicker, they ran down his face, streaking his cheeks with hot saline. Finally, as if a knot had come undone, he broke. Jake's chest was heaving up and down in loud, pained sobs. He choked on the air multiple times as he gasped for it; he was breathless. He tried shushing himself, but he fell back. His back hit the cold grey wall behind him, or at least it looked like a dark grey to Jake. The brunette's legs caved, he fell to the floor, hands supporting him. His eyes must've been bloodshot by now as he rubbed them ferociously in attempts of easing pain. His lungs felt like they were closing up in his body. He hadn't cried this much when he was leaving home. He let himself drown in his emotion, knowing Sunghoon wasn't going to be back for a while. And so he wailed like a newborn child. Nobody could hear him, the door was shut tight. He wanted to go home, to his bed, not the one at the dorm. He wanted to sleep on his pillow. He wanted to eat dinner at his table. He wanted to weep in his mother's arms, not in a school bathroom.

After a while of letting go, he regained his composure. He washed his face with cold water; it felt like cubes of ice torturing his Jake looked up at his reflection in the mirror before him. Sunken eyes, dishevelled hair and puffy lips. He made his way to the bed that he would sleep on, removed the cover and practically melted onto it. He pulled the blankets way up to his ears, lying on his left side. He felt the button on his sleeve poking him but didn't bother to acknowledge that he was still in his uniform. He couldn't care less. He felt the exhaustion overwhelm him as he brushed back his brown locks, drifting off to sleep.

Jake thought nobody would hear him... but they did.

Sunghoon stood outside the door, frozen. Jake's crying was audible through two closed doors if you pressed your ear to the front one. He felt almost reluctant to go and console him. He was disgusted at the way he was behaving — childish. He wanted to go into the room and comfort Jake as best he could, but his ego decided against it. He wanted to, but he couldn't move. Was one small, insignificant bit of prejudice enough to make Sunghoon hate someone? Did he fully hate Jake? He hated having his emotions spiral through his mind, actually giving him time to think through them. The raven lifted his ear from the door and exhaled sharply.

"Jungwon and Jay's room it is, then," he muttered bitterly as he walked away, sickened at himself.

--

Sad update. Short, sad update. With Sunghoon being a bit of a jerk here. Seriously, could I be crueller?

But this is what homesickness feels like, to anyone who was wondering.

I'm so, so, so sorry to everyone reading this ;-; I really felt horrible about not updating, as I said in that little letter I wrote y'all. But, I'm doing my best, I swear I am.

Also, ENHYPEN COMEBACK K I L L E D ME! Like I couldn't stay loyal to Sunghoon, I'm sorry. Ni-ki in purple hair and Sunoo in blonde-whitish hair is all I need OHOHOHO.

Oh well.

I love you! <3