Trifecta

ACT II: Chapter Five - Bad Blood (October, 2004)

"Are you trying to tell me we have to reschedule?" I asked.

Lilah nodded coyly and worried her bottom lip. After a lot of bush beating, I had finally concluded that she was trying to cancel our date tomorrow.

"And here I thought I would be the first one to cancel. You're making me look good over here," I said with a laugh. It was always a real, authentic laugh with Lilah, not the put on one I generally used with everyone else.

"I feel bad enough about this. Do you have to make it worse?" she groaned pitifully and stuck her lip out in a pout.

I was so glad she chose to tell me this over video chat, it was much more fun to pick on her when I could see her reaction.

"It's fine, really. I'm just joking," I assured her with a gentle smile.

"I want to make it up to you though," Lilah told me. She thought for a moment, and then her eyes lit up. "I know! I could cook for you at my place."

"Home cooked meal by a professional chef? Hm..." I hummed in consideration and muttered, "That's a hard offer to turn down."

Lilah smirked at me through the grainy picture of the screen. "Then don't."

As usual, her infectious playfulness rubbed off on me and soon I was smiling too. Really, Lilah made it impossible to not smile every minute I was in her presence. That was just her gift.

"When did you have in mind?" I asked.

Lilah bobbed her head as if working through a mental calendar and I did my best to hold back the chuckle that wanted to burst out while I watched her. "How about this Thursday? Around six?"

"Sounds perfect." I smiled wider. "I can't wait."

"Me neither," Lilah said and kissed the tips of her fingers before pressing them against the computer screen. "I'll see you Thursday."

"See you then," I muttered and touched the screen with my own fingers. Our gaze lingered between each other for another few seconds and then I mouthed goodbye one more time and closed the window.

My smile fell as soon as she disappeared from my screen. I had been looking forward to seeing Lilah this weekend. With all the pressure that the director and executives had been putting me under, it would have done me some good to unwind with Lilah.

I sighed in resignation, knowing this train of thought would do nothing but put me in a mood to mope and minimize the revisions I had been doing--in their final edit at long last--before pulling up a fresh document.

My mind floated back to the conversation that Lilah and I had about my writing a few weeks back. She had been right on the money with every observation she made, right down to me being without a spark. In fact, the last two novels I put out--both standalone stories that delved more into dramatic elements than the usual sci-fi or fantasy I did--were downright stale and boring.

You need to write another novel like Shadow's Tide... The ghost of Lilah's voice murmured in my ear.

Her voice kept me company in my head, spurring my fingers to dance across the keys thoughtfully, but not hard enough to press them down and make an impact on the page. God, if I didn't have a guillotine over my neck, I might be able to get into the right mind frame to write a novel like that again. Wouldn't that be nice?

This thought disturbed me, stilling my fingers on the keys in an instant. So, I can't write because of the burdens I put on myself? That sounds a lot like self-sabotage, Marley. My eyes flicked back up to the blank document. You gonna keep doing it forever? Making excuses about why you can't do it instead of owning up that you're just lazy and scared?