Trifecta

ACT IV: Chapter Eleven - You Haunt Me (April, 2008)

Taking care of the outside didn't prove to be as bad as I originally thought. Pockets and I planted fresh flowers out front while Alex and the guys landscaped the back, tiled the patio and put up a new shed. Meanwhile, the downstairs had been completely stripped, repainted, laid with fresh carpet and hardwood before being fully furnished to my exact tastes--something that had Alex grinding her teeth more than once.

By the time we were ready to move upstairs to the less intense projects it had barely been over a month and I was starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Most of what needed to be done on the second floor consisted of nothing more than fresh coats of paint, more new carpet and perhaps some updated furniture for the rooms. Nothing like the anxiety that the rest of the house had caused me though.

Taking this approach of one project at a time had been good at keeping me from getting overwhelmed. Most days I was even happy working with everyone as we renewed this old house. Idle hands were the devil's playthings after all, and my hands had been idle for far too long.

Today the project was painting the upstairs hallways and for the first time in about a week, it was just Alex and I together.

"So, there's something that's been on my mind lately," Alex said after nearly an hour of silence between us.

I turned around to steal a glance at her, casually taping the floor off with a happy hum on her lips, before I breathed out a heavy sigh. As the days had dragged on, I had been having a ton of second thoughts about my attraction to Alex again. Not that there was anything wrong with it necessarily, but because I couldn't quite understand how I felt about it. There was so much guilt and shame mingled in with my physical desire for her and I didn't know how to handle it anymore. Worse yet, I had a creeping fear that she might have been picking up on my lingering glances and subtle hints.

Oh, fuck. What if this is the moment she finally brings it up? What am I even supposed to say to her if she does? God Marley, you're such a fucking mess!

I forced myself to draw in a deep breath before I asked, a bit tentatively, "Oh yeah?"

"Whatever happened to that book you were writing? I've been over here waiting, hoping you would have picked it up after everything calmed down again but after all this time, still nothing." Alex handed me a paint roller and raised a brow, looking at me with the expectant gaze that only she could pull off. "So?"

"Oh. That," I replied flatly, my face of worrying instantly dropping with a frown.

A part of me was thankful that she hadn't brought up the thing I was dreading, but this wasn't really a much better topic of discussion.

"I scrapped that project years ago. Back when...you know..." I trailed off, hoping that would be enough to close the case for Alex.

"What!" Alex exclaimed, her eyes going wide as her jaw dropped in disbelief. "Why?"

"Because I was writing it for Lilah," I mumbled with a shrug and turned away from her. "Not much of a point to finish it now."

I dipped my roller in the aluminum tray sitting next to my feet before coating it all over with cream colored paint and slapping it on the wall. While I worked on covering the old plaster with a new face, I waited for the outraged cry from Alex. After five minutes--and to my great surprise--it never happened. She huffed in disdain with a frustrated little shuffle of her feet, but that was all I heard before the spongy sound of new paint being smeared on walls crept into my ears.

"Not that I don't appreciate winning for once, but it seems very unlike you to drop something so easily," I said conversationally, keeping my eyes on my work while I fought the urge to look back at Alex and check her expression.