Trifecta

ACT I: Chapter Three - White Blank Page (August, 1996)

I watched on with immense anxiety as Alex turned the last sheet of paper onto the sloppy pile of discarded pages she had already finished. Over the last hour or so I had seen her chuckle and frown at seemingly appropriate times of the story, but this was the part that I dreaded most--the final critique. I eyed her nervously, waiting for some kind of response now that she was finished but nothing immediately came.

My patience held out for a while as I watched Alex straighten the papers of my manuscript, but after a minute it broke.

"So?" I finally asked her, my voice thick with tension.

Alex glanced up at me with a small grin on her face. "It was great. I really enjoyed it."

A sinking feeling dropped into my gut like a stone. She was never going to judge you honestly. She cares about you too much to say anything mean.

"You're just being biased," I muttered with a pout, feeling a little cheated by Alex's response.

"I am not," Alex said defensively and crossed her arms over her chest. "I think you weaved together a fantastical tale with rich characters. The narrative was solid, the dialogue was realistic, and the descriptors were just strong enough." She shrugged. "I really liked it."

I blinked a few times, surprised by her thorough analysis of my text. "Um...Thank you," I said finally, not knowing what else I could say besides that.

"I just wish I knew why you won't share your talent," Alex said as she picked up the sheets and flipped through them forlornly.

"It's just a hobby," I muttered and rubbed my palms against my knees with a self conscious shrug.

"I know," Alex sighed. "But you're really good Marley. I think you could really blow people away if you put your work out there."

No one had ever said things like that to me. My parents gave me support to some degree. They believed in me, I suppose, but they never pushed me. Alex, on the other hand, truly believed in what I could do.

"You really think so?" I asked softly, looking up at her from under my lashes.

"Yes," Alex said before taking both of my hands in hers. "You're amazing, and I think you need to share that. Otherwise you're just really selfish."

I blinked at Alex in confusion, not sure how I was supposed to respond to this sudden turn in attitude from her.

Alex stared at me seriously for all of one second before the mask broke and she started to laugh. "Seriously though, it kind of is selfish. You have all of these amazing creations but you keep them locked away." She shrugged just as that soft, sunny smile of hers surfaced. "I don't know, maybe you should see what some of them could do to the world."

I wanted to believe her so badly, but there was some stubborn part of my brain that argued the facts she was saying. "Why do you even care?"

"I just wanna help you express yourself," Alex said with another nonchalant shrug. "I'm just trying to help you succeed."

"It's not going to affect you either way though," I argued, my voice coming out challenging and curt. At this point I was basically on the verge of childish moping, with no real reason to be fighting tooth and nail besides pure self-sabotage.

"Sure it is," she said and squeezed my hands in hers. "Everything you do affects me. I love you."

"Shut up!"

It was my gut reaction, a stupid one seeing how my favorite person in the world was telling me that she loved me, but it was still my knee jerk response either way.