Best Of Me |Jikook

1. Day By Day

Trigger Warning: Mentions of suicide

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Jungkook didn't know what had hit him today, what had caused the sudden urge. Maybe it was the burn he had gotten that still felt like lava against his thigh, or maybe it was the lashes, the ones that still ached on his back, arms, and legs, more bruises being added to the collection by the branches that seemed to reach out to him as he ran. Or maybe it was the voices that were never silenced, the ones that propelled him forward, the ones that compelled him to proceed with this terrible act. Jungkook didn't know what it was, but he didn't care. All he knew, all that filled his mind was that tonight, he was going to do it. He was going to kill himself.

The crisp, gelid wind nipped at his skin, blowing strongly against him, creating resistance as he continued to push forward in his run. The moon that was high up in the sky hid its face away behind a cloud as if it was disappointed and didn't want to witness the events that would unfold. The trees reached their branches out to him as if trying to catch him and stop him from going where he was headed.  The owls and the birds that lived in the forest hooted and cawed at him in antagonism, their voices blending into a kaleidoscope of loud surrounding sounds that haunted him as he ran on. Nature in all its ubiquitous character seemed to be completely against Jungkook this night. But then again, when has anything ever been on his side?

He could finally see the clearing up ahead. He was panting and his knees were weak from how long he was running, but the clearing he spotted gave him enough motivation to push on. Soon enough, he pushed past the last set of trees and stumbled out into the clearing. The wind increased its strength, still seemingly trying to push him back but Jungkook pressed forward. There was nothing that was going to stop him tonight. He'd had enough, enough of unfair treatment, enough of the abuse, enough of feeling helpless, enough of life. He'd had enough and he was going to end it.

Stumbling forward on his hands and knees, he reached the edge of the clearing, the cliff that overlooked the vast ocean. He closed his eyes and sighed as he felt the salty sea breeze move over his face and caressed his hair backward. He released a breath into the air that immediately condensed into a white puff, as a single tear rolled down his cheek.  A few seconds later and a sob fought its way past his lips as his sorrow rolled down his cheeks. He hung his head in misery as sobs racked his body and big tears raced down his face. His chest burned with all the anguish and pain he felt. He placed his fist over where his heart was in hopes to ease the pain he was feeling, but it was in vain. The inveterate fire of torment blazed within him, a fire that could never be put out. 

A few moments later and he was wiping the snot from his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie. He took deep breaths to steady his breathing. The wind now felt even colder on his face which was now a wet, blotchy mess but he didn't mind it. You didn't need to look pretty before you die. 

The palms of his hands met the rough, rocky edge of the cliff that overlooked the sea. His eyes wandered over the jagged, pointy rocks that stood below, waiting for him to fall into their welcoming embrace. He moved around a little on in his knees as he scooched closer to the edge, watching as the heavy waves beat against the rocks. 

Just do it.

Stop being pathetic and just jump. 

Jump and end it once and for all. 

You're so pitiful, you can't even end your own life.

Jump and get it over with.

Jump!

JUMP!

"You're not planning to jump, are you?" he heard an amused voice cut through the noise.