Waterfall

the emperor and the officers

Me and Ivy have grown so close, and I hate it but I can't shake this crush I have on her. It's like she's got me under her spell and I just can't brake free. one day after swimming we disided it would be a laugh to go to this fun fair. It was grate the lines weren't long at all and Ivy convinced me to go on all the big rides, which was nice because I got to hold her hand the whole time. Eventaly we had done most of the bigger rides and were looking at the others.

"as a teenager I always wanted to go on that ride but never had anyone to do it with" Ivy said pointing to one of those couples rides, I can't remeder what there called, tunnel of love or something?

"I'll go on there with you" I tell her

"Really!" She said and I nodded. She grabbed my hand tightly and dragged me on. We sat on this ride in the shape of a swan a metal bar came down and we slowly drifted into the heart shaped tunnel. Everything was dark the only lights were coming from fairy lights hanging from the ceiling, something by the beatles was playing really settings the mood as we sailed down the thin stream. Ivy put her hand on the inside of my thigh. All of a sudden the ride stopped. I looked over the side of the ride to see if anything was jamed but nothing seems to have gone wrong.

"Looks like we're stuck" I say and Ivy nodded in agreement. We sat in silence and Ivy started to rub my thigh. I was about to ask her what she was doing but she spoke first.

"Kiss me John" she said and before I could answer she smashed her lips into mine. The kiss started off gentle but soon Ivy was getting rougher until she

"OUCH" I say and pull away "you bit my lip"

"Oh I'm sorry" she says and puts her hand on my face and we go back to snogging but not for long.

"Fuck! Ivy, you did it again" I pulled away and put my hand on my lip to check if it was bleeding. I don't understand why she's acting like this or what's going on.

"John do you love me?" Ivy asked I didn't know what to say. I really do like her but, this just doesn't feel natural.

"I-I don't know" I say confused. Then, then she just started laughing at me.

"Ivy why are you acting like-" and before I finished my thought Ivy pushed me off the ride. I fell into what I had thought was an inch of water. My whole body was engulfed by the water. Every thing was pich black except when I looked up I could see Ivy looking down she put her arms down and I grabbed hold of her so she could pull me up but it was as if someone had a hold of my feet and was dragging me down and I couldn't hold on and started to fall deeper. I tried to scream for help, for Ivy, but my lungs just filled with water. It was so cold it made my whole body ache. I was completely trapped, there is no way of getting out of this. This is it.

That's when I woke up. My shirt had been soaked through with sweat, my fringe was stuck to my head, I was panting. Not again. I have been dreaming of drowning now every night and I don't know what to do about it. Since, the incident, I've been sleeping with my lamp on. The sea is very dark so now I hate the dark but leaving the lamp on doesn't stop the nightmares.

Also, I don't know if I love Ivy. I have never believed in love at first sight but I have met Ivy, yes, only a few time but she is so, incredible. I hope it's a silly crush but I wrote this song, ten story love song, thinking about her. It wasn't supposed to be a love song but words just spilled out and it happened. Only Ian has heard it he couldn't wait to get his grubby little hands on it and play it but I told him he couldn't. I can't have Ivy hear that, it would be so embarrassing and she would probably freak out.

Today is supposed to be my birthday party but I have never liked party's, this is more for Ian to socialise. I did say though if we were to have a party I want a costume party. I don't know why, I just felt I should have some choice in what was going on. I have a costume though, I have repurposed my bed sheets and some fake house plans to create a roman empire outfit. It's pretty sexy, I mean not on me and not that I have any reason to be looking sexy. Ivy's not looking for a relationship so it's pointless. It's nice to know you look good, that's a good enough . No one is going to see me though, I can't see myself leaving my room. I should probably start getting the house ready.