paper bags -- a wandanat au

day two: the fear of god

"It must be awful." A shadow of light from the window is cast on the wood next to her in the awkward oval shape that the window displays. "Having your childhood ripped away from you only to return to the real world a woman, unsure of how to handle yourself without the guide of a leader so mutinous as the Hydra prophet." I don't respond, "do you think about it often?"

"No." I spit impatiently.

"Did you talk about it with Natasha?" my hands begin to sweat at the sound of her name.

"No." I say again, holding the same tone.

"Would you have, given the chance?"

"I did have the chance. She did not force me as you are." There goes my accent again, but I ignore it.

"No one is forcing you to do anything, Wanda." I hate how my name sounded in her mouth. It smells bitter and cold as it drifts through the air. Not like it sounded when Natasha spoke my name. "I just want you to tell me what you are comfortable telling me. We can start wherever you'd like."

                                                                                             ***

I had never woken up peacefully in my entire life. Not even when I first came here, when Tony first took me in. I know he wants me to believe he does everything he does for my own good but I feel like a rabbit in a cage being poked prodded and tested on. I know that is what I am, nothing more. That is what I will always be.

Waking with a start, I climbed out of bed. The fabric of my shirt clung to my newly wet back and the scratchy sheet knotted uncomfortably around my legs. I kicked away the excess pulling my shirt off and tossing it to the side. I looked down at my stomach which flopped out a bit due to my slouching. Once I found a clean shirt to replace the old one I headed down to where breakfast is normally eaten. One thing I like about this facility that I expect I wouldn't like about others, is the freedom we are given. We make our own meals, wake up when we please and are not required to interact with anyone else but our consolers.

"Hey, good morning!" A familiar sparky voice arose from behind the counter. The clumsy blond dropped the cup he was holding but quickly retrieved it. "How are you this morning, Wanda?"

"Alright." I responded.

"You ready for training today?" He pushed, arching an eyebrow inquisitively. I normally choose not to go to training. I don't like the idea of being controlled, never again will I let another dictate what I do. The people here seem to understand that either I dictate what I do, or I dictate what they do. I don't think I like being feared, but it's how I get by.

"I'm not going."

"Oh." Steve seemed disappointed. I didn't care. "Well, that's alright, but it really is fun once you get into it. Besides..." his voice hushed as he leaned on the counter in an attempt to get closer to me, "learning to control your powers is important, Wanda." I scuffed my boots against the tiled floor. I knew I was acting like a spoiled, stubborn teenager. In any other world it may be embarrassing for a grown woman to be so petty, but this is not any other world. It is mine.

"Right. I control them." I didn't bother looking at him but I could feel his frown deepen.

"Fair enough." He hiked a thick charcoal black gym bag up on his shoulder, "have a good day, Wanda." he gave me one last all-American smile and was off in a flash. I wasn't sure what to do with myself now as I stood alone in the very large kitchen/dining room duo. The walls were windows to my right letting the sun shine harshly into my still tender eyes. Squinting, I walked towards the counter when I heard the familiar ding of the elevator reaching it's floor. I didn't bother turning around to see who it was because I knew they would just ask me why I wasn't in training.

"Hey. I think I might be lost." A strangely familiar voice came from behind me. I turned all too eagerly to see her. She was wearing a white button up tucked delicately into some professional black trousers along with an equally professional blazer that looked like it might be a bit too big for her. Natasha. I wondered if she remembered me from the other night. "See I'm looking for the 40th floor conference room but I- oh hey..." She stopped her blabbering pointing a well manicured nail in my direction, "Wanda." This was the first time she had said my name. It slid off her tongue like warm honey and her smile broadened. "Guess you were wrong about never seeing anyone around here." she walked closer leaning her elbows on the counter in front of me. "I'm glad you were."

"Hello, Natasha." I may have let on a sincere smile, "40th floor conference room is just down that corridor." I pointed in the direction I meant. "It is difficult to catch, purple door 5th to you left."

"Great, thank you." She made an awkward hand gesture before speaking again, "Hey, do you, uh..." She pursed her lips at me. I cocked my head to the side, actually interested in what she was going to say next, "Do you wanna get outta here some time?"

"Pardon...?" I wasn't sure what she was asking me, or at least I was denying myself the excitement of thinking about what she was asking me.

"I know they don't let you guys out of this place very often. I was thinking, you and me could go somewhere, get you some new air?" She seemed nervous as she fiddled with the hem of her blazer. I clenched my jaw holding back a wide grin. "If not, I get it I just-"

"That would be nice." I didn't mean to interrupt her, we kind of talked over each other.

"Oh." She seemed surprised by my acceptance, "Great, great, awesome. Okay. well how about tomorrow night? I'm kinda swamped all day today but I have some free time tomorrow night."

I nodded slightly, unable to tame my smile any longer. I let it through, "Sounds good."

"Good." As she backed away, she held my eyes the way she did at the bar during Tony's party. I wish I knew what she was thinking. Of course, I knew I had the ability to know that but it felt like a violation so I fought the urge. "Your smile. I've never seen it." I blew some air out of my nose bowing my head like an ashamed puppy, "No, it's beautiful. Thanks for gracing me with it." She chuckled at her own absurd use of vocabulary before she left me alone again in the kitchen once more.