It's 10:30 pm.
"WiFi isn't working oops so I guess it's time to sleep" I tell myself.
I need to find something quick to do just for a few minutes before I sleep.
I sit at my table and jot down a few lists. For whatever reason writing lists gives me some form of comfort. I don't always finish what I write on the lists which makes me mad in itself but something about writing them up gives me peace. After 10 or so minutes, I'm done. I switch off my lights and climb into my bed. I oil my lips, drink some water and say my prayers.
I close my eyes and wait for sleep to come.
I lay on my left side and try to conjure up some random scenarios to dream about. I try to follow one but my mind keeps wandering, hopping from one thought to the next without giving any of them time to form.
I turn onto my back.
Try the scenarios again. The same thing happens. Hop, hop, hop, go my thoughts. Thinking about nothing.
'Is it getting hot?' I ask myself.
'No, it's just in your head' I answer.
Try the scenarios again. The same thing happens. Hop, hop, hop, go my thoughts. Thinking about nothing.
'Ouch, my hair is poking my neck!'
I move my hair and rub my neck. I turn back to my side. Try the scenarios again. The same thing happens. Hop, hop, hop, go my thoughts. Thinking about nothing.
'Okay no it's definitely hot.'
I take off my duvet and move my boiling feet from under the sheets to on top of them.
'Ahh, so much better!'
The icy sheets and the air outside my blankets hits my hot feet with such vigor, they cool instantly and I start to feel my entire body cool down.
'I should be able to sleep now.'
I exhale deeply, reveling in the cool feeling on my skin. I put my arms behind my head and they too feel cool. I shut my eyes and wait for the sleep to come. Try the scenarios again. The same thing happens. Hop, hop, hop, go my thoughts. Thinking about nothing.
'Ugh! This isn't working! I'm still very much awake and I can't fall asleep'
I let out a loud and frustrated sigh, turn back to my side and reach across to grab my phone from the bed side table. I look at the time.
It's 11:58 pm.
I plug my phone into the charger and go through my notifications. I swipe them all away, I don't feel the vibe to reply to them. I scroll through TikTok for a few minutes. The WiFi stops working again.
Another frustrated sigh.
I open my notes and I start to write.
It's 12:26 am.
'Should I Google this?'
'No, it's just going to give you some crazy reasons that'll make you overthink everything for nothing.'
'Yes, maybe it'll give you the answers and the solutions you require'
'Maybe I should just go look for that 9 hour playlist on YouTube'
'It didn't work a few nights ago, who's to say it'll work now?'
'Just... Idk'
It's 1:22 am.
I'm tired, my phone is at 100% battery and my eyes are exhausted.
Wish me luck!
