we all need someone to stay

how it should have gone

natasha sat in the passengers seat of steve's car, her feet up on the dashboard. she rested her head against the back of the car seat. she was still tired from the mission they had just escaped.

they were now on their way to a safehouse where they would stay a few nights, the goal was to stay low for a while.

the outdated car sputtered along the gravel road at a painfully slow speed.

"where did captain america learn how to steal a car?" she asked, tilting her head to look at steve, who's eyes were fixed on the road. "nazi germany, and we're borrowing. take your feet off the dash." he said sternly, but his voice was laced with amusement nonetheless. the redhead raised her eyebrows and pulled her legs down, maintaining her eye contact with steve. she was literally a killer spy, but steve had the balls to put her in check. it impressed her, and her admiration for the captain only grew.

"alright i have a question for you," she said shifting a little in her seat. "oh but you do not have to answer though."

steve looked up from the road curiously at natasha who flashed a flirtatious smile at him.

"- i feel like if you don't answer it though, it's kind of answering it you know..."

"what." he said looking at her, eyebrows raised.

"was that your first kiss since 1945?"

nat was referring to their kiss they just shared during their mission. natasha's boldness didn't come as a shock to steve, but he wasn't expecting the question and so quickly.

steve sighed "that bad, huh?" he mused, shifting his head so his eyes settled back onto the road. nat's cheeks flushed a light pink.

"i didn't say that." she said scanning steve's face, looking for an ounce of affection- or even emotion. " well it kind of sounds like that's what you were saying." he huffed defensively.

"no... i didn't. i was just wondering how much... practice you've had." she said, a small smile painting it's way across her lips. he turned back to her, "practice? you don't need practice." he said, now slightly embarrassed. "everybody needs practice, steve." she said, rolling her eyes.

"it was not my first kiss since 1945, i'm 95. i'm not dead." he defended smiling back at natasha. they sat in silence for a moment. "nobody special though?" natasha asked, her eyes searching steve's face.

she was used to guys picking up her flirty hints and falling for her immediately, but steve was different. he was so intentionally clueless and un-phased by natasha's blunt hints that it intrigued her. she couldn't mask a fake personality around steve, he knew her too well for that. around steve, she learned to let her guard down and be herself.

"what, like you?" he asked, breaking her train of thought. natasha didn't answer so steve continued. "you know it's kind of hard to trust someone, when you don't know who that someone really is." he said lightly, looking at natasha's green eyes.

she fidgeted with her nails. "the truth is a matter of circumstances. it's not all things to all people, all the time. like me." she lectured, her voice dropping significantly in volume at the end.

she wasn't completely sure what she even meant but it sounded logical enough. natasha continued fidgeting with her nails, twisting and bending her fingers to click her nails together.

steve noticed and took her hand, removed it from her other hand, and placed it awkwardly onto the seat besides natasha. a small gesture of kindness, but one that still made natasha feel warm with safety and comfort, despite the fact she was a little taken back from his words. steve was an easy person to forgive.

steve felt a rush of empathy for the redhead, regretting his harsh words.

"hard way to live." he said. now he was the one searching her face. "yeah," she whispered.

her dark eyes pierced into steve's. "i've never lived a different way though." she sighed.

"i've lived a lot of lives, most of them i wish i didn't." she cringed a little bit, maybe she was over sharing. "but then i got this. this job, this family. and i was better because of it. i'm not who i used to be." she said.

steve inhaled deeply, thinking about what natasha had just said. her tone of voice had indicated something different. it was if she meant to say "but then i got you and i was better because of it. i'm not who i used to be."

he focused on the road and again felt himself sadden with empathy for natasha. he too had nothing during the stretch between coming out of the ice and meeting the avengers.

hell, natasha would probably dive off a cliff if it meant steve could see the light.

she would later betray 117 countries for steve, a testament to her reliability.

the captain then felt a surge of guilt wave through him. he felt uneasy about trusting natasha even though somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that she was a safe space for him, someone he could trust and count on but also someone he could relate to.

"i know i've made some... mistakes. but really steve, i'm a spy. not a liar. there is a difference you know. and i get it. i have refrained from telling the truth, and i've made some awful decisions. but i promise steve, this isn't some kind of act or stunt. and you know it too, i know you do."

her soft but persuasive voice poked daggers into steve's chest. he felt his throat tighten and he breathed in deeply.

"i know, nat." he said slowly, as if he was trying to savor the moment like sweet lemonade on a summer day.

and he meant it. he couldn't deny the connection he and natasha had- wether it was as friends, colleagues, partners, whatever.

he turned his head to meet eyes with her. his face was a little more pale then usual and his eyes were kind, sympathetic.

the car suddenly felt smaller, like the space in between steve and nat was closing. natasha could feel the familiar heat from steve's body. she smiled gently back at steve.

it was as if the atmosphere had completely changed. the awkwardness was washed away and replaced with mutual comfort. nat allowed her eyes to linger a litter longer on steve's then she would normally let herself. she laid her head back onto the car seat and smiled to herself.

they had finally reached their destination at the small safe-house they were staying at for their mission. both of them stayed in the car, however and steve's blue eyes met natasha's.

he took natasha's hand in his and squeezed gently. "i know." he repeated, his eyes not leaving hers. with hesitance, natasha planted her lips on his. the kiss was safe, it was real.

she felt an almost overwhelming amount of relief and pure happiness from steve's words, like a soft blanket. steve too, felt like he was home.

"you're a good friend rodgers." natasha mused, opening the car door and walking torwards the house, leaving steve alone in the car to smile like an idiot.