You did your best!

Kinda Tired

Tired of trying to be the hero...Being there for the people who'll never be there for me, probably saying the same about me, but they never asked. I'm actually just tired, trying to vent but no where to go. It feels like there's no where to go.

Have a place to live but not somewhere to call home.

"I don't think you understand. I'm tired, tired trying, and nothing ever changing. Tired of being nice, being there for others. I want something to fucking change, something good to happen in my life. Not money, not more shallow friends, not status... Just someone to lean on. Someone I can pour my heart out, from all this build up of frustration, doubts, and loneliness. I feel like I'm being corroded from the inside out. I hate myself!!! I hate myself for seeking help. I hate myself being selfish, every time I ask something for myself. Every time I ask for your help. I want you to be happy without me, but I want to be a part of your life. Because I'm tired of being by myself, fight this same old fight by myself. Waking by myself to a world that doesn't give a shit. 

Is it all meaningless? Yeah... But I goddamn found meaning in the darkness.

"I'm healing... I'm healing... But this frozen heart is bleeding now that the ice has melted. 

"Did you have fun?"

"I did."

"Then why are you not happy?"

"I feel lonely again."

"Ahh..."

"Heh. Hello silence."

"God gave me a test. And I failed it. I saw it right in front of me. A moment of being a good man. To show I am worthy, and I failed it. All it took was a moment of my time to help someone and I didn't. I am not a good person, just selfish."