Jean Kirstein is Sick of This Shit

Descent

Summary + Notes: Jean and Marco attempt a serious conversation about Trost, Jean flashes back to when Marco told him about his death, Jean is slightly mentally ill, plus a cute little bonus scene to uplift from the depressing scenes beforehand.

Jean's POV through everything until Connie's POV for the bonus scene (Connie supremacy).

Descent

Time did pass. Jean had not remembered time passing that slow for a while, after training had ended before, after Trost had happened, the days and months just bled together over time. They had bled together just like the deaths of all of their fallen comrades.

When you had spent every single day fighting for your life, there was no time to rest.

But now? Jean felt like he had all the time in the world, contrary to what he had first thought when they arrived back in training.

He spent his days not only training, but using that time to specifically memorize Marco. In their free time, evenings and mornings, he would draw Marco, using every spare piece of parchment he could get his hands on. He also spent time memorizing Marco's body, counting all of his freckles, running his hands up and down to just convince himself that Marco was real and there. When Marco was feeling especially distressed, the phantom pains from his horrific death coming back in full force, Jean would take his time and kiss every inch of where it hurt, from the right side of Marco's face, up and down his arm, his neck, his chest, his legs. They immediately started to sleep together in the same bed every night, and Jean appreciated every second of it all, every second of being able to feel and touch Marco.

Damn, he really had turned into a needy little tactile shit.

He was resolved to that fact however, and fully embraced his full time job of just being with Marco. It made his days to be able to hold Marco's hand as they walked to training, it lit up his whole world with every single quick kiss that made Marco blush so prettily, it turned him all soft and gooey every time he heard Marco laugh.

Yeah, he had definitely not taken advantage of this during his first life, and Jean'd be damned if he let that happen again.

However, some more serious conversations had to happen, and Jean needed to stop ignoring those. Like on one unfortunate morning a month or so before graduation, when both Jean and Marco had actually, completely, slept through the night, and were awoken by the sounds of their friends finally getting up.

"Jean," Marco whispered, turning his head to the right towards the dozing Jean, who had decided to mold his body onto Marco's right side in the middle of the night and had finished it off by burying his head into the crook of Marco's neck.

"Shhhhhh, Marco, just five more minutes." Jean snuggled his face back into Marco's shoulder, completely oblivious to the awakening world.

"Jean, everyone is going off to breakfast."

"Okay? And?" Jean's voice, crackled with sleep, started to develop a higher and whiny tone to it.

"Jean, we need to talk. A serious conversation."

"Fine," Jean huffed, peeling his body off of Marco, sitting up and stretching. "Oi, Connie!"

Connie, who slept on the bunk next to them, looked over at them, seeming slightly startled, but probably still too asleep for his brain to function. "Yeah?"

"Tell Sasha she can have our portions at breakfast." Jean was too busy blinking the sleep out of his eyes to see the dumbstruck expression on Connie's face.