Jean Kirstein is Sick of This Shit

It's Trost Time Again

Summary + Notes: Trost starts over again, Jean has to beg his friends to believe in him (he starts to lose it a little bit), the Attack Titan comes to save the day, and they finally make it into Headquarters. Jean POV

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Trost: the Beginning (aka: It's Trost Time Again)

Graduation. Everyone was sitting around talking. How could the rest of them not feel excited, knowing that they were just moments away from actually joining the military for real?

However, it didn't take a genius to observe the sour mood that Jean was in. He hadn't left Marco's side at all that day, had not taken part in conversation with anyone other than Marco, and something dangerous glinted in his eyes, and it matched the scowl he was wearing on his face.

Jean didn't seem happy at all, even though the results were finalized and he knew that he finished second in their class. Usually that would make a recruit ecstatic, but Jean just seemed....different.

He was guarded, watchful, as he watched the rest of his friends talk.

They were busy discussing what regiments they were all going to join, and Jean's scowl just grew as he listened.

He had already been through this, goddamn, and he was not in the mood to discuss the same things again, not with him now knowing what was going to happen.

Adrenaline was just coursing through his body the entire day, anticipation not even the right word for it.

It was more like an anticipatory dread, Jean determined. But anyways, back to his friends' conversations.

Eren, vocal as always about joining the Scouts, was presently trying to convert other recruits to his ways. He had tried to get Jean to join him in this, knowing that Jean and Mikasa were both going to join the Scouts now, and as the top two recruits it looked nice on paper, but Jean was absolutely not going to try to convince others to join.

Jean knew the fate awaiting the majority of the Scouts in the future. How could he possibly try to convince others to join, and then not feel guilty as he watched them die one by one? Might as well let them go to the Garrison instead, and let them have a semblance of a life.

Armin and Mikasa were among those who had already decided on joining the Scouts alongside Eren, and the rest of them? Jean didn't give a damn on what they thought right now about joining the Scouts, not when he knew everything was going to change after this, not when he couldn't focus on anything other than the crushing feeling in his chest telling him that some of these people were going to die today. And the ones that survived?

If they were smart, Jean thought darkly, they'll run straight away from the Scouts.

Jean just continued watching, watched them all, watched as Eren and Connie were assigned to the cannons on the top of Trost's wall.

Jean noticed how Bertolt was somehow missing, mysteriously not there beside his bestie Reiner.

"Hey Jaeger! Connie!" Jean called out, as they were exiting. This drew quite a few glances from the rest of the cadets, startling them as this was the first time Jean had spoken to any of them today.

"Yeah?" Connie replied, soundly slightly confused.

"Be careful out there," Jean's voice sounded slightly gruff, but it was the hardened expression on his face that really clued the other into the fact that something was off about Jean.

"Why are you—" Eren started, but was swiftly interrupted.

"Just be careful and don't fall off the damn wall, Jaeger," Jean retorted back, satire dripping into his voice.