DIEEEE SHE TELLS ME
YOU FUCKING FATASS
WHY DID YOU EAT THAT YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHATS IN IT
YOU HAVE SO MUCH FAT ON YOUR LEGS ARMS FACE ECT
this list goes on and on....
Even when I was this tiny girl who thought she was the fattest person to ever exist I couldn't stop these thoughts. When I looked at myself in the mirror I just wanted to cut the fat off my body. But anorexia did not just make me feel miserable, it interfered with my relationships. It hurt my friends. It changed them.... I was the biggest liar. I lied about how much food I ate and if I was "okay". My friends stopped telling me stuff "because it would affect my thoughts". They treated me different, like I wasn't me. I would hide food in my clothes, under blankets, dab everything to make the butter came out, pour my juice down the sink when people were not looking, and give food to my dogs. But my eating disorder was not only fucked up for that but.... At some points I would go a very long time without eating but as soon as ana escaped a little I would go to my kitchen and eat handfuls of EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY CABINET. Like I'm not just talking a bowl of goldfish... I mean goldfish, granola bars, chex mix, cookies, cereal ect. It was horrible because afterwords I would beat myself up so much. I would feel really dizzy and fat. Ana also wouldn't let me drink water. I mean come on ana water has no fucking calories in it. I hate you anorexia and I hate every single thing that you control. I AM NOOOTTT YOUR SLAVE
