broken conclusions ; 𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘪𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘨𝘦

part one 🤍

flashback -  almost three and a half years ago, right after the release of your first movie

"You can't do this Louis!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. We were in the field where the two of us would always read and talk together, so thankfully no one could hear me and my screams of disbelief. Of denial.

He was being impossible. Louis had kissed me, ignored me for a week and now this?

"Yes I can," he replied remaining calm even though the way I was acting probably seemed absurd to him. A mixture of tears and rain pouring down my cheeks, my messy hair barely covering the mess of ruined make up on my face. 

"N-no," I shook my head. "Just because of one thing does not mean our friendship needs to end! We can call each other, face time, a-and use our data and sent letters to each other! Yes, letters! And, and use those birds they used in like the 1950s-" I rambled on trying to find ways to repair a situation that was did not even want to repair itself. 

"Y/n," he chuckled and came closer to me. "I kissed you. You have a boyfriend. " Louis proceeded, his hand resting on my shoulder. In all honesty, yes that did happen. But in my defence that argument was completely invalid. Why? Because I didn't even have feelings for my boyfriend, I had feelings for Louis. 

"Plus," he continued, "You have a lot of press and literally people lining up at your door for you to work in their next movies! You won't have time for me! You're moving away for goodness sake!" he said, Louis also having tears in his eyes now. He looked genuinely hurt which made every thing so, so very much worse. 

"We can make it work  Louis, please! We have been best friends since we were children!" I told him, still absolutely refusing to accept what ever reality was at play here. I physically cannot handle this. 

"Y/n..." he looked at me and caught my glance. The two of us stared into each other's eyes and although he was not saying anything, I knew Louis was desperately trying to convince me that us not talking anymore, seeing each other anymore or having any connection what so ever was 'for the best'. 

How in the world could this be 'for the best'? Maybe feelings were involved and yes I had a boyfriend and yes I was moving away but.... I cared about him too much for this! Did he not care about me at all....

"K." is all I muttered. I had broken down in front of him and shouted about how hurt I was because of this and nothing, and once I've done that I shut down. It's pointless to keep trying.

"Y/n liste-" Louis started, of course now trying to what? Explain himself? Say why ruining our friend - our what ever this was - and hurting me was perfectly fine? I'd rather not hear that.

"Bye Louis." I said, wiping away the tears in my eyes and tying my hair back. I wanted to look like less of a mess, look more collected. Because the last time Louis was ever going to see me, I didn't want to seem completely broken. Even though I am.

He didn't even say anything. His jaw just hung open, he looked numb, and watched me grab his hoodie, which you could practically call mine considering I have used it for the past year and a half, and I started to walk away. The rain was still pouring over us and the wind make the half dead grass dance around. I was only in shorts and a tank top because earlier we were running and I got hot, but now my whole body was shivering uncontrollably. Hopefully he didn't notice. 

"Bye Louis," I whispered again once I arrived to the gate separating my house and the field. I took a deep breath, secured my ponytail, wrapped his hoodie around my waist and climbed over the fence, walking away from him. Walking away from any feelings I had for him. Walking away from us. 

author speaks

this one is very short, just like a 'getting to know

the situation' type thing

<3