A Slave to Broken Hearts (A Slave to Love Sequel)

Chapter 41: Fuck, Marry, Kill

It was my first day off in the last two and a half weeks and waking up to utter silence, and not my alarm angrily ringing to wake me up for work, was such a wonderful yet small gift. Even better, was waking up and not being alone in bed, for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

Curled up behind me, warm and cozy and frankly kind of pulling my hair, was Mazey. While I was sure to have a headache from the hair pulling, I endured it because she was finally here with me and for the first time since I moved in, it almost felt like home.

I wasn't about to disturb the moment, or her slumber, even though my head was aching and I was pretty sure escaping was going to lose me some hair, so I stayed put and tried to enjoy an actual morning when I could sleep in without guilt and actually feel somewhat rested for once.

As much as it pained me to do it, made my heart stutter in my chest still, I had to let go. Let go of going to school, let go of delusions of getting that dream life sooner rather than later, let go of all the expectations I had for myself. I couldn't go on like this, Ace and Lexi were both right; I had to take better care of myself. How was I going to have any kind of future at all, any kind of life, if I ran myself into the ground? Let myself break to pieces because I was too stubborn to take a beat and get there in my own time?

I had been lucky enough to come back from my deterioration like I did and I never ever wanted to end up like that again, but if I kept this up I was sure to repeat it.

The problem was, I wasn't just grieving the loss of my relationship with Blade, I was grieving for my home, and my future now too, and all the things that could have been--

It was time for a fresh start. Doing something new, something different, could be good for me if I started small. Cutting my hair had made me feel better, so maybe something along that vein would work.

Like say....my room.

Those four pristine empty white walls, the corner of boxes and bags of my stuff, the only furnishings in my room my bed, even my phone was plugged into the wall I had nowhere to put it but the floor or next to me on my bed because I didn't even have a nightstand. How could I expect to make this apartment my home when I hadn't even unpacked or made it my own? It was literally just a room where I slept--barely--and it was so cold and impersonal and messy. More like I was a squatter than a tenant.

The white walls also prickled my memory, leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

There was some shuffling from the room over, then a door opening, and Katie was up. I took that as my cue, sliding painfully out from under Mazey's still form as carefully as I could to not wake her and with as much of my hair still intact as I was able to manage, then headed out.

"G'morning," she mumbled, rubbing her face. "Do you need the bathroom?"

I shook my head, gesturing for her to go ahead, and I started the kettle for her and prepared her coffee. When she emerged, a little more awake, hair a bit neater and eyes less squinty, I handed her the steaming mug and she hummed her appreciation. 

"What do you want for breakfast?" I asked, blowing on my own hot mug of tea, rocking my weight against the kitchen counter. 

"Don't worry about it, I'll make it," she said, "Go get ready for work."

"I have the day off," I said and her eyebrows rose. 

"Really?"

"Yup."

"It's about time," she remarked, "I've hardly seen you since you moved in."

I winced and she backtracked. 

"You've been really busy, is all I'm saying. I'm glad you're getting a break," she added. "Why don't I make breakfast instead?"

"Nah, I want too. I haven't really had a peaceful time to cook anything in ages," I said, "So what do you want? Should we make a full spread? Chocolate chip pancakes? Bacon? Eggs?"