A Slave to Broken Hearts (A Slave to Love Sequel)

Chapter 73: Home

Sitting at the airport alone was an odd experience. While I was excited to go home and see my mom and enjoy a week from from my responsibilities and my own personal dramas, it was also terrifying. What this extra distance was going to do to us? To me?

I tried to squash the slight flutter of panic of my chest, recalling the fun I'd had last night instead.

It wasn't exactly the fun I'd expected, but a night of games with my friends was still good and made me feel loved and comforted, and it was a feeling I would hold onto for the rest of this week alone.

We had played for a while and I did destroy absolutely everyone at Monopoly, even while Ace made every --admittedly subtle-- effort to distract me. His knee brushing mine, fingers lingering as he handed me the dice, the occasional sly commentary, the look in his eyes whenever we made contact, the way his smile softened just a touch when he looked my way...

He left first from the group and ended up giving Mick a ride home and there was no way to have the goodbye I wanted, not without some serious teasing or interrogations by my friends. So instead, I just walked them both to the door and gave him the same hug I gave Mick.

It was all very platonic and casual.

But he did whisper in my ear before he left, without the others hearing.

"If you need anything, call me. I'll be there as quick as I can," he had said and pulled back with worry in his eyes, despite the smile on his face, and I knew he was thinking the same thing as I was.

If I fell apart again.

If I hallucinated again.

If I was on the verge of dying again.

He had already texted me this morning, wishing me a safe flight and making sure I got to the airport okay, and I couldn't help remembering last night, wondering what he thought of what had happened now that we'd both had time to sleep on it, what would have happened if we hadn't been interrupted, if we'd had time to talk, if we'd had the apartment to ourselves all night--

We had agreed to keep things platonic and friendly, but now...

Maybe the week away from everything, everyone, was just what I needed to figure out my own life, the choices I had available to me, and not just with him. No matter what I settled on, we needed to talk properly once I was back and figure things out. I wasn't going to take the risk that he would get hurt, or that I would, too much had happened, both of us have had a hard enough time in the past year, there was no need for more pain. And as much fun as it was to hang out with him and blur the line, all the uncertainty was stressing me out and was probably going to end badly for both of us.

I was finally settled into my seat on the plane, waiting for the rest of the passengers to embark so we could finally take off and I could go home. It had been an exceptionally long week waiting to go home and now that I was nearly there, I was even more impatient than ever to get there and see my mom and hug her like my life depended on it.

Especially after these last few months and now after sleeping next to Blade and then getting nothing but near radio silence in return, all I wanted to do was call him, see him, just...be with him. Make sure he was okay. Every time I tried to reach out, he just shut it down, and I had no idea how much of that was him being ashamed, or not wanting to be near me or talk to me because of our situation, or because he wasn't doing well. The distance from me going home was only going to make that worse too, but maybe my mom and the wedding would make me forget, at least for a little while. I'd just have to text him during the week and check on him when I got home.

Sighing, I thunked my head against the tiny window of the airplane. Maybe a week away from him, where I wouldn't be tempted to do something stupid was a good thing.