A Slave to Broken Hearts (A Slave to Love Sequel)

Chapter 18: Moping

I stayed at Ace's place. Not that I wanted to be there, but purely because I had nowhere else to go. My home wasn't an option right now. Not that Blade had told me outright, not that he had explicitly said it was over, but he needed time away from me and I could take a hint. No matter how much it hurt and how much I wanted to ignore it and go see him, to fix this mess I'd made, I had to respect his feelings.

So I curled up in an all too familiar looking bed, in an all too familiar looking room, feeling just as terrified at losing everything that ever mattered to me as I had the last tome I'd been here. It probably wasn't the same room, it didn't look exactly the same, but it was close enough. I had nearly lost Blade last time I'd been here in this house, Aros forcing me to hurt him, betray him until he nearly died because of it. And here I was, doing the same thing again but with no one else to blame but myself.

I hadn't told Ace what had happened. The words wouldn't come, not even long after I'd exhausted myself from crying. He may have been eavesdropping and knew already but maybe he didn't, either way he hadn't asked and I didn't want to be the one to share the news. He'd simply sat with me until I had nothing left in me and then offered me dinner and a place to stay for as long as I needed. Accepting had felt like defeat.

The grey light of morning came through the crack in the heavy dark curtains, illuminating the grandeur of my temporary room. Canopy bed with ornate designs decorating the fabric, rich golds and reds across the walls and decor, deep dark browns for the antique furniture. A book shelf full of volumes that reminded me of trying to plan my escape down in their pages. I stopped looking then, no longer wanting to be reminded of things I had tried so hard to forget. 

Unsure of what to do, I stayed in bed. Ace had things to attend to no doubt after his impromptu day off yesterday, so I didn't know if he was around. Exploring alone was less than ideal considering I has never wanted to step foot back here ever again, even though now I was a surprise guest of honor. It was my day off work as well so I had nothing to fill my time with, no distraction, at least not till tomorrow. I'd have to figure out a way there, what the bus routes were around here, since my usual ride wasn't around. There came a sharp pain in my arm, stinging like a needle, through my tattoo.

I pulled my arm to my chest, cradling it like a baby, knees coming up so I was curved into a ball, small and broken in this massive bed and massive house, feeling as lonely and lost as if I were in the middle of the sea with no sign of the shore.

I hadn't slept yet. A full 24 hours without sleep and yet I wasn't tired. Physically my body felt heavy and ached, burdened with heartache and misery and from a night of crying and no food or water. But my mind was jittery, jumping from one thought to the next, always coming back to him, circling back no matter how far I strayed.

How could I have done this to him? How could I have lied? Broken his trust when I knew how hard we had worked to mend it?

More traitorous thoughts slithered in. What was he doing? Had he called Eliza? Found her and apologized for not believing her? Were they catching up and rekindling their past?

I squashed the insecurities down. It wasn't fair of me to think those things, he had every right to talk to her, even if it scared me.

There came a hesitant knock on the door and I twitched only slightly in surprise, not expecting anyone to come visit.

"Kiana?" It was Ace. There was another knock, still soft, like he didn't want to bother me if I was sleeping, wasn't sure if he should talk to me.

"Come in," I said quietly. It was his house after all.

The door opened a crack ans he peeked in a moment, eyes taking me in before he opened it fully and stepped in. "How you doing?"

I realized just how bad this must look. Still in yesterdays clothes, now rumpled and uncomfortable, curled up in a ball on top of the bed, not even under the sheets or anything. My eyes felt swollen and dry and itchy, no doubt they were bloodshot from crying and no sleep. I couldn't find the ability to care.