Today was Unity Day and I planned to let loose and have fun. There hasn't been much conflict between us and the grounders lately. The rest of the people on the Ark were coming down to Earth tomorrow including my mom. I really didn't want to talk to her or even see her. She killed my father and I will never forgive her for that.
I looked up to see Bellamy staring at me but when I stared back he looked away. Bellamy changed a lot. He developed a new bad ass sarcastic attitude and walked with a cocky smirk on his face 24/7. He also shot the Chancellor to get to Earth. I also have kind of lost myself. I didn't care about anything anymore. I felt broken and dead inside. Instead of sitting around doing nothing I walked over to Monty and grabbed some of Monty's Famous Moonshine. This stuff was incredibly strong and I was going to get drunk today I knew it.
After a few glasses I joined the rest of my friends and a few extras including Bellamy in a game of spin the bottle/Truth or dare I had a pretty heavy buzz right now but I didn't care, I was having fun.
"Decided to grace us with your presence Princess?" Bellamy asked as I sat down next to O. "Shut up Bellamy!" Octavia replied for me. I just rolled my eyes. WOW, I thought he really has changed. Who is he anymore?
When it came Murphy's turn to spin the bottle it landed on me. Now he would kiss me and get to ask me a personal question. He got up and walked over and kissed me for about 10 seconds. When he sat back down he asked "So Clarke, what was the real reason why you beat me up?"
I decided to come clean about my life, maybe it was just because I was a little drunk or maybe it was because I was tired of keeping my life a secret. I looked Bellamy in the eyes and he looked back. As I held my gave I started talking "Well you see Murphy I had just lost my best friend and was blamed for the murder of his mother. About a month later my father found out the Earth was running out of air and he told me about it, he also said he was planning to inform everyone else on the Ark. I told my friend Wells Jaha about my father's plan and then Wells told me he had told his father, the Chancellor. The next day I was informed that my father was to be executed for treason. I then arrive at his execution to find my mother was not there to say goodbye to him. I then stood there alone as I watched my father getting sucked out to space. While I was walking home from my father's execution, I was blocked by you Murphy." I say taking my eyes off of Bellamy's hurt and confused face and shot a glance at Murphy. I then returned my gaze back to Bell and continued "So after I beat you up I was slapped by my mother for accusing her about not caring about my father. I was then thrown into prison and then sent to Earth. Later to find out I'm still hated by my best friend. I also found out that Wells didn't actually tell the Chancellor about my dad, but my own mother did. She killed her own husband. Then Wells was killed and I felt so guilty about not listening to him sooner. A few weeks ago I was going through the pack that I had when we landed and found a letter from my mom I haven't read it yet but now seems like a good time do you guys mind listening?" I asked unfolding the letter not really caring If anyone responded. I began reading my moms letter aloud "Dear Clarke, I am so sorry for not being there for you after your father's death and I hope someday I will see you again. I loved your father so much, with all of my heart and I'm so sorry I haven't come to visit you in prison. I will be looking closely at your vitals to make sure your're okay. I hope you will forgive me and I love you Clarke. Stay safe, Mom." I stoped reading and look up to see the 100's faces looking at me sympathetically. I got up and made my way to the fire. I threw the letter in and watched it burn. "Yeah she laterally loved him to death" I say and laughed a little. I hated her now. How could she do this to me? "She wants me to stay safe, to be protected, to know i'm alive. I grabbed a knife out of my pocket and pried the vital send bracelet of my wrist and tossed it into the fire. I hope she feels the pain I felt losing dad. I hope she's just as broken as I am. I look back up into Bellmay's eyes and start speaking again. "What hurts the most now I guess would be the loneliness. The one person I wanted to share all of this with still hates me. I understand it know though because I hate me too."
