Bucky Barnes Imagines

I Want To Stop ~B.B~

Summary: Bucky talks about his nightmares to a therapist, where he has been hurting you in his sleep, and he finally admits to you. (My russian translations are from google translate, so lmao)

"Bucky wake up! Please.. wake up."
It's 2AM in the morning and Bucky was having another nightmare, this wasn't unusual. You heard him scream in his sleep, speak Russian, mention HYDRA, and even sometimes whisper things about Steve, that sometimes could have been way before the train incident even happened.

"James, I am going to ask you one more time. Do you still have nightmares?"

"Stop, stop, STOP." Bucky screams in his sleep, you always came bursting into the other room, since he just lived with you at this point in time, It made it very hard for you to even get an hour of sleep. You rush into the other room, trying to calm him down, but this was always a bad idea, most of the time he'd grab you by the neck with the metal arm, but he is never aware he's doing this, but after a second, once you beg him to stop, he lets go, and peacefully returns to a deep sleep. Which made you wonder why you made the difference?

"No, I'm fine now."

"James, please for the love of god, don't lie to me."

"I am serious, they're gone."

"Then why did she not want to come with you today?"

"She.. was busy."

"I can read you like a book I have read over 100 times James. Will you ever quit lying to me?"

"I'm not."

"Have you tried talking to her James? You once said she makes a difference."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"James! y/n helps you!"

"Замолчи! (Shut up)"

Bucky grabbed you by the neck, still screaming his lungs out in his sleep, throwing you forcefully to the ground, as you hit the ground with a loud thud. Bucky wakes up from his nightmare, sweating, and puffing heavily, as he turns on the light, as he sees your shadow. He hops of the bed, wearing nothing but sweatpants, as he kneels  next to you, and embraces you in his arms. "мне жаль, (I'm sorry) мне жаль."

"Do you have feelings for y/n? Is that why she helps you?"

"You leave y/n out of this. Don't mention even the name."

"I don't want to hurt you anymore." even in the dim lighting in the small dark room, you see Bucky's eyes flushed over with tears, as one slips from his eye, and rolls, slowly, down his cheek. You wrap your arms around him, giving him a sense of comfort, that he most definitely needed. This is how he calmed down.

"Did you sleep with her James? Have you tried that?"

"... No, I slept on my own, as usual."

"Try it James. She can get rid of the pain."

"This pain ISNT GOING TO EVER LEAVE, SO QUIT TRYING TOO HELP ME."

"Never James. Never."

"It hurts too see you in pain Bucky, it breaks my heart." You whisper, as a warm tear lands on his shoulder from your eyes, both of you sobbing in the dark. He holds you tight, as you shiver in fear at his touch. He could never forgive himself for the pain and the darkness, fear, he's ever given you.

"Why do you continue to help me?" He chokes out, holding on to you still.

"Because not once did you give up on me." You whisper as you hold him tightly, one of his tears falling onto your shoulder. You pull away from him as you look into his eyes, for once they were full of understanding, he smiled just a fraction. As he got up and took your hand, and lead you over to the bed.

"It wasn't that hard was it James?"

"It's still there, the pain is still there"

"in time, y/n make your worries fade. Just like you did for y/n"

He crawled into bed as you sat next to him, making curls with his hair using your fingers. Soft Bucky wasn't something that people saw often, oh but it was there. After awhile, Bucky fell asleep to the feel of your touch, you decided to take the risk and crawl next to him, stay there for the night. After all, you did make a difference.

"Will you listen to me more often James"

"I never said I listened to you"

"What do you mean James?"

"I listened to my heart"