Crux Year

Chapter Ten - Shay

I've officially lost my mind.

What was I even thinking?

I'm reconsidering all my life's decisions as I carefully lift the window in my bedroom. It's late and my parents have been in bed for hours, so I'm not worried they'll wake up, but I can't shake the ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach.

Don't do this.

You'll get caught.

If I'm caught sneaking around town late at night, I'll be reprimanded. And not just from my dads. There's a curfew in place for boys who haven't had their Crux ceremony. Though ours is on Friday, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be given a simple slap on the wrist. For all I know, they'll send me to the rehabilitation facility like Morgan. Or to Dr. Browning so he can throw more behavioral meds at me.

I can't get caught.

Glancing one more time around my bedroom, I decide to grab a black hooded sweatshirt to help hide myself in the shadows. Before I climb through the window, I stop to look at my suit hanging on the closet door.

A pang of disappointment hits me in the middle of my chest. That suit we picked up from the tailor after school today was supposed to mark a special time in my life. The moment when I'll stand on stage, learn of who my match will be, and embark on a new journey.

Except, now, it won't be a surprise. There won't be smiles from the recipient. No, the boy with the supple lips whom I've kissed will be on the run with his father. I'll be matched to...

Whoever I want.

No pressure.

Crippling indecision weighs down my bones and makes my muscles useless. How will I choose who I want to be with for the rest of my life? It's supposed to be chosen for us. The best matches put together.

Mine is going to leave.

Assuming he's my match. I still don't know for certain. But, if he is, he'll be gone, and I'll begin to date my future husband.

Maybe I should stay home tonight...

What would Royal think? That I backed out? That I no longer want to help him?

With a heavy sigh, I slink through the open window into the cool night. Crickets chirp but as I step through the flower bed, they grow quiet. Earlier, after Dad Spencer and I came home from the tailor, I holed away in my room, looking up Royal's address so I could make a plan to get there tonight. On foot, which is my only option unless I want to add vehicle theft to my list of crimes, it'll take about twenty-five minutes.

Surprisingly, the time flies by as I stick to the shadows and wind through the streets of town. The crisp night air invigorates me. Excitement tickles down my spine. Royal may not be my match come Friday but being alone with him tonight so late and on a secret mission together sets my blood on fire.

Will he kiss me again?

I try to squash that thought, but now that I've traveled down that mental path, all I can think about is his tongue and lips. The soft groan that escaped him when he devoured my mouth.

Great.

Now I'm suffering an erection as I prowl through the town. I bet that's a crime, too. Public stiffy has to be some form of indecency that'll earn you punishment. I'm still mentally berating myself when someone whistles softly from an open window.