𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐒 + 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄! 𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍

028

TW: suicide, murder, rape

028
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To my mother...
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As you break my heart

"Hey Dad."
Erwin who sat on the front porch's staircase, turned his head over his shoulder, seeing Daeshim, now 16 years of age, standing there with his blue skates' bag flung over his shoulder.

Erwin took a long drag from his cigarette, before he doused it onto the wooden pole that supported the roof of his western style, cottage home. He stood up, throwing the cigarette in his little bucket he made out of an old tobacco tub.

"Ready, kiddo?"
He asked his son, as Daeshim happily nodded, getting into the front passenger's seat of Erwin's grey SUV. Erwin simply chuckled at the boy, shaking his head, as he slowly made his way over to his car.

—

"Coming in at second place is Mun Daeshim Smith!"
The crowd cheered, including Erwin, who definitely clapped the loudest, smiling at his son.

Daeshim skated around the rink to get to his second place spot on the stadium, he winked at a few fangirls that outreached their hands to him, cheering.
When he winked, they nearly about fainted in excitement, and Erwin couldn't help but chuckle at the girls swooning over his son.

He had gotten his silver medal, thanking the people for coming to the competition that day.
He took his picture with the other winners for good sport, then Erwin was allowed to come down onto the ice to take a picture with him as well.

The ride home was silent, however it was calm, peaceful and relaxing silence that both the boys found comfort in.
When they pulled up to their home, Daeshim got out, carrying both his medal and the pictures from the competition, walking out passed the side of the house.
Erwin watched him on the front porch, wondering where he was going for a second before he realized. He let out a little ah to himself, heading inside the house onto the back porch, where he watched the boy sombrely carry his winnings out to the back.

The boy sniffled, holding back his many tears that accumulated over the long, yearning years, he abruptly stopped, dropping down in one swoop next to the headstone.

"Hey mom..."
He whispered, a single tear falling falling from dark grey eyes.
"I won second place today."

He laid the medal as well as the two photos by Chun-Hwa's tombstone in which her name engraved, was Mun Chun-Hwa Smith.
He leaned over kissing his mother's headstone, sniffling once again.

"I hope you're proud of me... I know you'd probably say I should keep the medal but I have that many I don't know what to with them."
He chuckled, wiping away the tears from his eyes.

He stared at his mother's grave, staying silent for a moment before he started to sob like a baby, holding his head tightly,
"Why couldn't you just of stayed with dad? Or when it got bad, why did you stay with him... I miss you, mom."

"That miserable bastard had no right to take you away from me."
He sighed deeply, looking up at the sky, with much hatred in his body.

"I lied to you, mom. When Dad gave me Levi's ashes I didn't put them in the ocean, I actually dumped them in a sewer me and my friends found in the woods. I hate that guy. He'll never be my dad."
Daeshim admitted with no shame, as he wiped his snot from his crying into his sleeve.
"I don't understand why you left dad in the first place... but he also never told me the full story yet, I supposed I'm too young to know yet."

He stared at his mother's name.
"You knew something was up that day, didn't you...? Even back then when I was only 5, I knew you weren't going to work. You weren't in your work clothes. I still wish... I still wish you came to dad's with me that day, but I'm thankful you made the sacrifice of being me here. He's a great dad... and I hope you can forgive grandma as well, I know she was tough on you, but you're such a heartwarming woman, I'm sure you would've forgiven her. She's a great grandma to me."

Again, Daeshim sat there in the evening's silence, as the sunset started to go down, and the night's breeze was creeping up against his bare arms, a bird hummed somewhere in the distant.

In that large empty backyard field, in which Chun-Hwa's grave was in, Daeshim sat there, in an emptiness, as nothing could be see for miles away.
"Is this how you felt when your mom left you when you were five? I guess that was different, though. I feel so alone, mom. I just want one last hug from you or to hear that you're proud of me..."

"Hey, Daeshim buddy! Dinner's ready!"
Erwin called out, as he walked towards his son and Chun-Hwa's grave.

"Alright."
He said nonchalantly, wiping away his tears and pretending he hadn't cried. Erwin, pretended not to notice as Daeshim made his way into the house.

Erwin smiled down Chun-Hwa's grave, leaning down and giving her a kiss, while imaging her once alive and beautiful face.
"I love you, honey. I hope you aren't too cold out here."

—

"Hey dad?"
Daeshim asked, as he sat down his fork, while Erwin keep eating. He nodded, to tell him to keep going.

"How did Levi kill mom?"
Erwin stopped his chewing momentarily, frozen over his plate in shock that Daeshim had finally asked the question.

He sat down his fork, swallowing the piece of food in his mouth.
"It's really gruesome, son. I don't think you're ready for it."

"You told me you'd tell me when I was ready, I'm ready! I'm tired of not knowing how mom died."

"He strangled to death while he was raping her. She was leaving him to come be with me, and he didn't like that. He didn't mean to kill her, he just wanted her to pass out from lack of oxygen so she wouldn't fight against him so much. And since he killed her, he couldn't bear to live with that fact, so he shot himself."
Erwin stammered, swallowing the ache that heartache beside him Adam's apple.

"When you identified Levi's body, why did you tell the mortician to cremate his body so you 'knew for sure the bastard was dead this time around' ?"
Daeshim questioned, completely oblivious to his father's endless cycle of pain of always losing Chun-Hwa.

He smiled at his son pitifully,
"Because it wasn't the first, and won't be the last time he steals your mother from me."

After two more years of training, Daeshim went on France's Olympic's team, winning a gold medal at Age 18.

He put the gold medal, along beside his previous sliver at his mother's grave telling her, he would pursue the dreams she once had, that Levi had taken away from her.

Erwin stood beside Chun-Hwa's grave, smiling down at the medals laying beside her headstone.

"You look extra beautiful today, my love. I bet you're smiling so brightly at your son right now."
As the clouds started to roll in, it started to drizzle on both Chun-Hwa's grave, and Erwin, messing up his neat blonde hair that he kept.

"In the next life, let's get married... and run away before we even meet Levi Ackerman."

And a shotgun's fire echoed throughout the empty abyss of Erwin's backyard.

—
A/N before I get asked; whoever killed themselves at the end, wether it was Erwin or Daeshim is up to you to interpret. So comment! And let me know how you interpreted it! I looooove hearing your guys's feedback :)

As similar to red shoes, there is one more chapter left <3