Thana's pov
I look in the mirror at myself. My hand goes to my hair; it's grown in the last couple of weeks. Touching my shoulder. "Oh my gosh, you're so ugly."
I cringe at what sounds like my own voice. I hadn't heard it like that in centuries.
I then narrow my eyes at the person in the mirror who looks just like me. Navi.
"No, you are ugly," I hear the voice. My lips don't move, though, as I point to the mirror.
I look myself up and down, Navi. My eyes linger on the scars that cover my body. My eyes widen as the scars turn to cuts and start to bleed.
"I am beautiful." Navi whispers. I hear the whisper echo through the room as I go through her body motions. "I am! Beautiful!" She yells at the mirror, glaring at our reflection. I wince as it gets louder.
The bleeding from the scars gets more rapid, and new scars from past lives appear. Then I start bleeding from my temple from what looks like a gunshot wound.
"I. Am. Beautiful!" She screams at the mirror, trying to shut up the demons. They roar louder. We scream, trying to scream them out.
She screams as she then roughly tear open the drawer and take out the clippers. Without a second thought, she turns them on and quickly buzzes straight through her hair. It falls, taking the rest of her sanity, hitting the now bloody floor. Her thoughts screech through the room as I stare at our reflection.
No, I'm still sane. I'm okay; Chadum didn't break me, Jacy didn't break me, Hannah didn't break me. No one broke me, and I'm okay. I just need a haircut.
No, I'm still sane. I'm okay; Chadum didn't break me, Jacy didn't break me, Hannah didn't break me. No one broke me, and I'm okay. I just need a haircut.
She then continues using the clippers through her hair until my head is bald. I look down and see blood all over our hands as words start to clash together until all I hear is screaming.
Oh my gosh, you're so ugly.
I am beautiful
Oh my gosh, you're so ugly.
No, I'm still sane. I'm okay; Chadum didn't break me, Jacy didn't break me, Hannah didn't break me. No one broke me, and I'm okay. I just need a haircut.
I sit up in a cold sweat. Touching my head, I feel my hair. I run my hands down my face and know I'm back as Thana. I was just in a dream reliving a nightmare. I look around my darkroom and breath deeply.
Remembering my past also meant having PTSD from all of my past lives. I look at my hands. I remembered all of who I killed and all that killed me. The stress was bringing back everything I had buried.
I stand, deciding to get out of the house. I need to regroup. I walk out of the house and into the darkness of our small island.
"Thana?" I turn my head quickly and see Morana walking towards me. "Have you seen Bora? I can't find her. We were supposed to meet hours ago."
I shake my head, "No, but if I run into her, I will let her know you are looking for her." She nods, still looking concerned. I continue past her till I get to the edge of our island and let my wings break free and take me to earth.
I find myself at the beach, the moon staring into her reflection in the waves. I let my breathing match the lazy movement of the water as feeling my stress fade into the background; for a moment, I'm human again.
"Zerro?" I turn my head at the name and see an angel. Instantly I know.
"Kyan."
Pearly whites flashed in a kind and gentle smile. "It's been a while since I've been called that."
