【ＨＩＲＡＥＴＨ】- 𝒥. 𝒦𝒶𝒽𝓃𝓌𝒶𝓁𝒹

Ｔｈｅ ｐａｓｔ

There's a pressure at my head, my eyes clenched shut. I can't feel Jonas's hand anymore, only emptiness that makes me panicked. There's something soft underneath me, and i raise my head quickly, looking around the field, standing up, eyes scanning it for the blonde. I rip the helmet off me, hair falling in my eyes as i breathe heavily, heart speeding up at the thought of being alone.

Where is he?

I stumble forward, zipping down my hazmat suit as the sun beats down on me, leaving me in my dirty cargo pants and that sweater that used to be Jonas all those months and memories ago. I tie my hair up, walking forwards, squinting my eyes. Suddenly my foot is caught in something, and i fall forward, landing on the ground with a thud. I wince, scrunching up my nose and lean over to look at what i fell over, my eyes landing on the tree root covering something. I lift it, my eyes widening as i see the yellow hazmat suit, similiar to my own. "Jonas was here?" I whisper to myself, standing up and looking around.

Suddenly i stop completely, eyes widening as for the first time in what seems to be endless months, the breathe i inhale feels fresh. It doesn't feel like it's poisoning my lungs. It really worked, we really did it. A small sense of victory fill me, and i grip onto my shirt like a lifeline, not really knowing what to do. My eyes scan the field, hearing voices and what seems to be animals not too far ahead. The sun beats down on me, but even though i haven't felt the warm rays in month, i can't bring myself to enjoy it, knowing Jonas is shot, and that he's somewhere else.

I stumble through the field, realazing with a grimace that my ankle feels like it's on fire, probably being twisted from tripping over that fucking root. As i walk a little more, i near a clearing, what seems to be people in the middle of it moving hay. "Hey! Excuse me!" I shout, faltering to a stop as they all turn to look at me, murmuring among themselves. Their clothing looks ancient, like those movies and documenteries we used to see in school.

"Another one, eh?" I look to the side, seeing a man with a hitchfork walking towards me. My eyes widen in fright, and i take a step back, only for my foot to crumble underneath me as i crash to the ground, looking up at the man in fear as his shadow covers the sun. Something about him seems familiar, but i can't really make out what makes him that way. "Stop it Johansen - You're scaring the poor girl" I glance to the side, a woman walking up to me and hauling me to my feet. "got many of you these last few months, never a girl though. Where were you stationed?" She ask, my eyebrows furrowing as i rack my brain for some knowledge, trembling. "Uh....E-eastern front" I whisper, swallowing thickly as the two adults share a look. "Labor camp? You haven't been the only one. A spy i presume?" With their eyes glaring into me with a mix of pity and suspiscion, i can only force a nod - feeling sick to my stomach.

"Uh you haven't... You haven't had a boy my age here?" I whisper, my voice shaking as i ask the question, slightly terrefied as a glimpse of reckognition pass by the mans face. "The blonde guy? Frederick and i found him yesterday. Is he your husband?" I backtrack slightly at the question, my eyebrows furrowing. Husband? Why is he assuming that? No one gets married at this age. And why did he arrive yesterday, while i arrived today "Uh... Did...did he say that?" I force the words trough my lips, the woman letting out a large laugh that makes me flinch. "Alright sweetheart, let's get you cleaned up huh? Back to your husband" She grips my elbow, and i flinch away from her touch, ripping my hand away from her hand. "Wait!" I tremble even more, trying my best to appear less afraid, but it being too difficult without Jonas.

He's all i've had for month, and although i hate to admit it, being alone is terrefying.

"W-what year is it?" I whisper, curling in on myself as the adults share yet another look. "It's 1921. Come on now, Erna will take good care of ya" The woman grips me, softer this time before pulling me along. I follow, feeling the man stare after me, before he eventually gets back to work. 

We pass through more fields, and horses - fucking horses. I feel dizzy with the amount of stuff thrown in my face, shivering by the time we begin to trek into the town, cobblebuildings lining the street, and a bad smell reeking as well. Everyone looks overworked and sweaty, the only thing that seperates me from them being that i'm a female in pants and that almost my whole body is covered in scratches, cuts, dried blood - or moist blood from Jonas that has soaked through my entire midriff. I grow more desperate to find him, and as we near a small girl sitting on the stairs with stick figures, i can't help but want to run away. "Agnes, go on inside - you're not allowed to be out at this hour" The plump lady beside me mutter, her eyes set on the girl as she frown, sweat on her forehead being wiped away with her dirty palm. 

"Come on" She nudges me in the direction of an open door, chatter and clinking being heard. We step in, and a some conversations lull down as people glance in my direction. "Bringing strays into my home now?" A woman questions as i get assisted to a chair, my eyes set on the table as i shuffle uncomfortably with the hard gaze now resting on me. "Look me in the eye while i'm talking to ya, girl" the woman remark sternly, making me raise my gaze, trying to ignore the way my sight blur over for a second as i breathe slightly harsher. "I-i'm sorry - i-we... I need Jonas" I murmur, feeing my throat closing up and my eyes to fill with tears, the woman setting down a bowl of soup in front of me, seemingly looking very concerned as she reach forward to put her hand on my shoulder. I flinch away at once, standing up as the chair screech and fall back behind me, my body feeling like it's drowning in ice as black appear at the corner of my sight. The woman in front of me, Erna now looks like she's concerned, trying to tame a wild animal. "Calm down girl, you're going to hurt yoursel-"

My head spin, and i blink as i put my palm to my head, feeling something wet and sticky reaching my fingertips. I shakily hold it in front of me, whole hand covered in blood as i slowly raise my gaze, feeling lightheaded as the women in front of me blur out even more, a small exhale leaving me before everything goes black and i stumble, before feeling myself loose balance, arms catching me before i hit the floor.