【ＨＩＲＡＥＴＨ】- 𝒥. 𝒦𝒶𝒽𝓃𝓌𝒶𝓁𝒹

Ｔｈｅ ｍａｐ

"Where did you find it?" i ask curiously, sitting in front of Jonas on his bed, the map spread across his knees as he scan it, meeting my eyes slowly. "On top of a closet in the art room" He replies, holding my gaze before looking down again, biting his lower lip in thought. It's the Winden cave system, a sentence sticking out to both of us. "Where is the crossing?" I mutter, cocking my head to the side as Jonas just stare at the map in confusion.

"I don't get it" Jonas whisper, and as i glance up at him i see his eyes blank. He swallow thickly, letting out a sigh, making my gaze fall to my lap as we sit in a silence. It's not uncomfortable, but not comfortable either. It's just there.

"How did it go with Magnus...and Martha" Jonas eventually ask, putting the map aside for a second, probably for a breather. I look to the side, giving a light shrug. "It was okay... i don't think i'm welcome like i was anymore" i mutter, swallowing thickly as i remember the look Katharina gave me.  Jonas sighs softly. "Come here" he mutter, and i shift further up the bed as he pull me to him, laying down. I rest, my head on his chest as he wrap his arms around me.

I clench my eyes shut, feeling how much warmth rush to my skin, the way my heart skips several beats and how i feel that distaste grow for Martha again. How the jealousy and anger squeeze me tightly, just like Jonas's embrace. Soon everything i can think of is her. Martha with her pretty face and good morals. Martha, the girl i will always be second to. The girl that i can never be the same as.

But she can't choose it. The voice in my head repeat the sentence i always think of when i get reminded by Jonas's affection for her. She can't choose who likes her and who doesn't. It's not her fault.  Now i'm left feeling guilty - Martha would never do anything to hurt me, she has been a good friend, and i have to be that for her. She just lost her little brother, and here i am, blaming her for my best friends feelings. He said he didn't care about her like that, not anymore, but what if he does? Am i going to have to pretend like i don't care, when i will be standing there, watching them, alone?

"Where did you go just now?" His voice brings me out from the thoughts, and i shrug meekly, listening to his steady heartbeat. "You know you can talk to me, right?" He speaks seconds later, and the words seem so sincere that it makes me want to rant about everything to him. I shake my head nevertheless, clearing my throat lightly. "do you... should we skip school tomorrow? Explore the caves?" I suggest, leaning up on my elbow and hovering over Jonas, who stiffen at the movement and now looks unsure.

Realizing he's not replying to my question, he swallow and give a nod. "Yeah" he agree, eyes observing my face as i smile down at him, pressing every bad thought away, because at the end of the day it doesn't matter, at least not right now, when Martha is with Bartosz and Jonas is here with me, holding me -

looking at me like that.

"Thank you for doing this with me" Jonas mutter, looking away with some kind of guilt. I just nod, pursing my lips briefly before i sit up straight, leaning against his wall with my legs to my chest. "Of course, you know i'd do anything for you, right?" I mutter, and as i get no response i quickly worry i was too adoring, too clingy. I look at him, and i see how his eyes are filled with tears as he tug me down again, hugging me close to him in a different way, his fingers stroking my skin, and his breath fanning over my neck as he sniffle.

"Thank you" he whisper, sincere and breathlessly as he let out a small wavering chuckle that pulls at my heartstrings. "Thank you"

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As we walk down the dark and cold cave i have a permanent frown etched upon my lips, my eyes trailing the walls for anything useful. Jonas is walking right in front of me, his eyebrows furrowed and his back tense as he scan the map, walking slowly. To my surprise the cave is much bigger than what i originally thought, however - i haven't really explored it, mostly because as kids, adults would always scare us  when it came to the caves, so i was afraid of getting lost there.